If you are trying to drive me crazy, you're too late.

i started out with nothing and I still have must of it.

Computer dating is fine if you're a computer. :)

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Hypochondria is the only disease I don't have.

You can run but you can't hide except apparently at the Afghan-Pakastani border.

Pretend to spank me... I'm a pseudo-masochist.

The key to driving is to have your license expire before you do.

If I told you, you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?

I just got a dog for my girlfriend, what a trade!

Illegally parked frogs get toad.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest drown too?

The leading cause of death in lawyers is ambulances backing up.

A cynic is a man that knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

If a train station is where a train stops, what happens at a work station?

Look alive, here comes a vulture.

Is Australia really down under? Or are we upside down?

It takes a village to raise a child to hate all the people in the next village.

Life without bears would be unbearable.