How are your restaurants coming along? I must admit that your chef’s food tasted quite amazing when I was there! I know we just talked a few months ago in person, but I felt that I should write to you regarding my life, this cruise, and other things rather than just business related topics. Did you know that I am currently going out with Natalie Portman? Of course you didn’t, this is what I mean, this is why I wrote this letter, because it contains many aspects of my past, current, and future life so I can talk to you as a friend.
Though I was born in the United States, I have some Irish blood in me. It may seem surprising but I do have a Grandmother who lives in Ballyjamesduff, Ireland, which is just a little ways off from Virginia, Ireland, which is where I currently live. I decided to move over to Ireland not only for family related reasons, but I also thought that it would be a grand place to start up my own chiropractic business. A few years ago I graduated from Brigham Young University Idaho and had enough money to move, so I did. My business, well, I call it Murray Chiropractic. I make a good living off of my income seeing how I own the only chiropractic business in Virginia.
Since I bet you are wondering if I still collect nutcrackers as a hobby or not, allow me to fill you in. I in fact still do, I have around literally fifty-six of them. They are really worth a fortune today! By the way, I am no way no how selling right now, so please lay off. Though I may seem weird about it, which should be nothing new, I have a sneaky suspicion that someone in our own class robbed me of around 834 nutcrackers! Who, I say Smith, Jesse Smith. In Mr. Gardner’s class he was always trying to act cool when all he was, was a ridiculous rascal. He is a mysterious little monkey! Though he used to be skinny, he has gotten quite fat recently, which used to be a symbol of richness; I say he got rich off of my nutcrackers! Besides, someone paid for this fourteen day cruise leaving everyone with some pocket change of ten grand. Who else could it be besides Jesse? I will bet one of my originally made German nutcrackers that Jesse, the mysterious monkey that he is, was the one who stole my 843 nutcrackers. He probably went off and sold them all to some knucklehead bozo who doesn’t know a thing about them. Most likely Mr. Smith, being so agent like, got rich off of the sell, and decided to make up for his wrong doing with this cruise. Though it may be a while, I will catch whoever got away with this treachery!
Then there is Mr. Olny; I believe Jesse and Kolby to be secret operatives working for probably the Russian Government. Please do not ask how I know such things Jocelyn, for both our lives could become in jeopardy. All I can say is that it is a side job. Jesse and Kolby, I am sure that I am not the only one who believes so, make an interesting pair of mysterious little furry monkeys. The two make me sick, how they are always hanging out...