My mind flashed back to the wise advice my grandmother had constantly given me. "Never chew with your mouth open," she would say. If only I had listened to her. But my sensible side reminded me, now is not the time for sullen regrets. I shook my head to clear it, and with a loud sigh, evaluated my situation. I had been eating lunch on the edge of the dock with some of my high school friends. I started laughing, despite my dear grandmother’s advice, and suddenly, I was underwater, tightly gripped by some creature I had never seen before, which, for reasons I may never understand, my beleaguered mind decided to call a “nusterboofy.”
This creature definitely did not live up to the comical name I gave it. It slightly resembled an octopus, with a jet-black body, two cold, reflective eyes, and four long, glimmering tentacles, two of which held me prisoner. As I peered closer, I realized that the glimmer came from what appeared to be various articles of ...view middle of the document...
As soon as my face broke through, I gasped, unfortunately inhaling a mixture of seawater and air. As I hacked and coughed, the nusterboofy held me above the surface of the water, still looking annoyed. When I was finally able to breathe normally, it gurgled and began lowering me back into the water.
“Stop it!” I cried, unable to handle this absurdity anymore. My captor, startled, stopped and looked at me with that same unbearable expression, but this time, I noticed a glint of fear in its eyes. Emboldened, I demanded of the wretched creature, “Where are you taking me?”
The nusterboofy turned me so I was facing towards the direction we were moving. I gasped in awe as I saw an island, jutted with giant cliffs, before me, all surrounded by a thick mist. As we drew closer, the mist faded, and the base of the crags were covered in blinding gold — no, were covered in entire colonies of nusterboofies. My dazed, wandering mind deduced that they were most likely capable of breathing both on land and underwater, and began wondering how. Perhaps they had both gills and primitive lungs? But surely they were too large to share the same system as arthropods…
Suddenly jolted back into reality, I realized that I was once more on land, but more importantly, surrounded by what appeared to be hundreds of nusterboofies. Feeling quite indignant at the unfair treatment I had received, I pushed back my fear of and curiosity about them and focused on the absurdity of my situation. As they closed in, clearly curious about what sort of creature I might be, I shouted, “Why did you bring me here? What do you think you are!? Keep your nasty tentacles off of me and just leave me alone!”
Worst. Idea. Ever. They listened to me, and began backing away. At some unseen signal, all of them turned and began splashing a remarkably fast, yet surprisingly dignified retreat back into the surrounding ocean. As I saw my only hope of returning home bolting away from me, I groaned. I was going to be stuck here alone, without any hope of returning home, lacking even the company of these curious creatures, which I knew many would have marveled to meet. And as the last of the nusterboofies plunged solemnly into the sea, I swore that I would never again place pride before prejudice.