A Meek And Modest Proposition Essay

1946 words - 8 pages

It is an embarrassing and disgusting sight when a male of a molasses colored pigment is spotted in the beautiful streets of this great nation… this great WHITE nation. These tar babies, instead of being an effective aspect of this great nation, are impeding the progression of society with their sagging pants and incomprehensible language, and the lust for women who in turn bore the offspring of these creatures. The offspring in question become nothing but impediments to society, creating an everlasting chain of lazy, incompetent creatures.
It is to my understanding that 99 percent all races and of all levels of prestige find these creatures nauseating. Those who agree have all stated that ...view middle of the document...

Moreover, they have been the cause of all of the nation’s crimes. The Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, the Colorado movie theater shooting, and the injection of seamen into cookies and selling then to elementary school children were all at the hands of blacks and Hispanics. Because of the growing number of this unwanted species, I have devised a plan to get rid of them. My plan is mainly regarded toward the males, because they are the most dangerous.
Though my plan it is my hope that we remove the wrenches from America and, consequently, remove crime from this great nation. Finally, this great nation will not suffer at the hands of these coons. Rather, our nation will be the pinnacle of the world, the model nation. The societies with the hooligans who have longed to get them out will finally be able to take them out. I have created a long awaited solution to an agitating problem.
America has 313.9 million people in the country. Of that, 12.6 percent of those people are blacks. From this number I will add 2 percent because 2 percent of Hispanics claim that they are from some sort of African descent. Through a proven fact that all blacks and Hispanics are related, which is why they act similarly, I will add 14.4 percent, the number of “non-black” Hispanics. With this we can quantify that 29 percent of people in America are black. Because I am concerned only with the males of the species, I will use the next round of figures to quantify them. For every 4 black women, there is one black man and for every 2 “Hispanic” women, there is 1 “Hispanic” man. Therefore of the species 40% are male.
I now will propose my scientifically proven, economically stable humble suggestion. It is to my knowledge that none will object seeing that it only benefits the country.
It has been to my vast knowledge that the Brown Paper Bag Test was keen and effective in keeping blacks and Hispanics out of society. Through my matriculation at Harvard, Brown, Yale, and Oxford Universities, I have been assured of a sure fire way to eradicate the menaces to society.
I therefore propose a simple suggestion that the 40 percent of males of the black and “Hispanic” communities, at any age, be kidnapped and tested using the Brown Paper Bag Test and therefore placed into incarceration, servitude or elimination.
I suggest that we first locate each home that holds these males and take them throwing them into a police car. The location of them won’t be that hard because they all live in the projects and ghetto with the exception of few, however let’s be honest, finding a black male in an affluent community won’t be hard. After we have herded them, we will then place them into police cars, something that they are quite familiar with. If one stops and thinks about it, we are being sweet putting them in a known place so that they feel comfortable while we kidnap them.
After they are kidnapped, we will drive them to the safest place Birmingham, Alabama. We will then line them up...

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