A Modest Proposal To Reduce Homelessness

916 words - 4 pages

There are many homeless people out on the streets of the large cities in this great nation. When unemployment still hasn't gotten near zero and new jobs are being created every day, people are starting to ask why there are still homeless people in the alleys and on the sidewalks of this country. This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be so easy for homeless people to just get a job. Let's look at the general requirements for applying for and keeping a job. All you have to do is have nice clothes to make a decent impression, a home address and some way to be reached in tight situations, also a way of getting to work in the morning or night, whichever the case may be. That's it. And I, for one, have reached a solution to this widespread laziness.First of all, most homeless people spend their days hunting through trash cans and dumpsters for a piece of sustenance or at least something of sentimental value. If they're not doing that, they're begging for spare change on street corners. Eventually, one would think that they should be able to afford a couple of respectable suits or other outfits to wear while applying and even working for this job of theirs. All they have to do is poke around a little longer or beg a little more and that job would be theirs to enjoy. Keeping these articles of clothing clean would be difficult, but manageable. If you can't afford a coin operated laundromat (I'm sure there'd be plenty of left over change from begging), just find some large, clean puddle of water in the street to wash things in. As for cleanliness, I'm sure people throw away left over deodorant or antiperspirant, soap, and other such toiletries to where you can care of the bathing problem. You don't need to clean your hair, in fact, doing so would rid yourself of the natural oils that build up over time and actually hold your hair style in place.Second, with all the left over money and such, they could go to one of those mailbox etcetera stores and buy themselves a mailing address. That just means they'll have to cope with eating only what they find in the garbage, and not spending any of that extra cash on frivolous fast food, or healthy vegetable items. Suppose that they absolutely need a phone number also. What's stopping any of these people from sleeping close to a pay phone? Just record the number on the back of your hand (unless you have some nice paper on you) before you...

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