Embracing Depression Essay

642 words - 3 pages

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -- Oscar Wilde Perhaps I feel compelled to write on the subject of depression because it is a selfish disease. It seeps into every crevice of one's life; it refuses to be ignored, to be relegated to some obscure corner of the mind. Perhaps I'm writing about it because of what I have learned about my relationship with the disease. Perhaps the time has come when I'm ready to stop cursing the depression and start embracing it.

What I'm about to say is terribly unfashionable, and I hope that you will forgive any offense that it may cause. In all truthfulness, I'm glad that I have lived with depression as a companion. This statement does not imply that I have relished the grief and guilt the disease has borne. It does not mean that I have enjoyed the fits of despair, the self-imposed isolation, or the shared sorrow of my friends and family. I would not wish this illness upon anyone, yet I don't know if I could banish it from my own life, were I given the chance.

On a recent episode of ER, a physician who was deaf queried, "Did you ever think that being deaf might not be so bad?" She had accepted that her deafness was a part of her life, without allowing it to define who she was. For quite a while, I wasn't able to see my depression in that way. When it was first diagnosed, I didn't want to admit that this was something that would affect my existence. I wanted to rid myself of the illness immediately. As the years passed, however, I let myself become the incarnation of the disease. Lurking at the edge of my...

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