Pros And Cons Of Long Distance Relationships

2034 words - 8 pages

When I entered into my long distance relationship I was nervous, I had heard about how long distance relationships are unlikely to work in the long term. The first thing I did, living in the era of the internet, was to perform a Google search to see what exactly I could find to quell my nerves. It is evident from all the resources available—from the search “long distance relationship information” over 7.3 million results were found—that many others face similar fears. If we search for those people looking for help by typing in “long distance support group” then 5.6 million results are found. Clearly people lack security with their long distance relationships (hereon referred to as LDRs), and seek comfort from others on the internet.
I was shocked to find that statistics suggest that the differences in success rates between LDRs and close proximity relationships (hereon referred to as CPRs) are not enough to be significant. Indeed, “Individuals in LDRs demonstrate levels of relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment almost identical to the levels demonstrated by individuals involved in geographically close relationships, regardless of the amount of time spent together,” (Mietzner). So why is it that LDRs get such a bad reputation? According to CJ Arabia of examiner.com this is due to the fact that, “Being in a long distance relationship isn’t for everyone. That’s why long distance relationships have such a bad reputation. They’re hard, painful, difficult, challenging and lonely.” I was unable to find any sources which did not agree with the statement that going long distance provides challenges which are not present in an CPR, but if that is true, one must question why it should not lead to increased difficulties, and therefore more breakups than a CPR.
Well, the first question to address in regards to LDR versus CPR breakups is why couples break up: the study “Breakup Distress and Loss of Intimacy in University Students” published in 2010 attempts to answer this question. The study placed reasons for breaking up into one of four categories: intimacy, which includes trust, communication, love and emotional bonds; affiliation, the amount of time a couple spends together, and their personal involvement in their significant other’s daily life, as well as factors such as boredom and dissimilarities; sexual satisfaction and attraction; and autonomy, the degree to which both parties would like to function as individuals rather than a couple (Field).It is clear that the category of affiliation is going to be difficult for a long distance couple since a large part of it is time spent together. Travel is expensive, time consuming and stressful so it is often difficult to arrangeface-to-face meetings. In addition, both partners are living their own lives, they have different schedules, and often they live in different time zones. All these inconveniences further exacerbate the problem. Often couples have to find creative ways to manage...

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