“I want to be like my adoptive mother, but my birth mother says I’m like her. I don’t know what to do or who I am. My whole life is messed up. It’s not my fault. It can’t be fixed,” said a girl adopted into an open adoption (Byrd). An open adoption is a process in which the birth parents and the adoptive parents know each other and are involved in the adopted child’s life. A closed adoption is when there is no contact at all and no identifying information is given between birth and adoptive parents (Byrd). While both are common to today’s society, closed adoptions allow opportunities for the adoptive parents to raise their kids without the interference of birth parents (Bender).
Studies have shown that in an open adoption, the adopted child may have a hard time bonding with their adoptive parents because of the involvement of the birth parents (Byrd). The interference of the birth parents causes the adoptive parents have a constant reminder that they are not the biological parents and therefore are kind of “afraid” to get too close to their children because of the fear of losing them. This may cause the child to be confused and this failure to bond may cause them to have a hard time making and keeping social relationships (Bender) (Byrd).
Closed adoptions can provide a better life for a child. The birth parents of the child may have a bad background, unsteady income, substance abuse, emotional or intellectual problems, or some other issue that may cause them to be unable to provide proper care for the child. A closed adoption would give the child a more stable family and life without any hassle from the unsteady birth parents (“Open”).
Different families may have different beliefs and values. A child involved in an open adoption may become confused because they are being “parented” by two separate families. He or she may be encouraged to do something by adoptive parents, but then told something completely opposite by the birth parents. He or she may feel obligated to listen to both sets of parents and will not know what to do. This could cause the child to reject both sets of parents’ wishes and beliefs, which could cause depression and anxiety in the child because of the lack of parental conformity (Byrd).
Because open adoption allows visitation to birth parents, it is greatly similar to foster care instead of adoption. The adoptive parents really do not get the full effect of parenting because of the involvement of the birth parents (Byrd). This can also threaten the security of the adoptive parents because they do not feel like the permanent parents because of the fear of losing their child to the biological parents (“Open”).
Closed adoptions allow birth parents privacy and to remain unidentified. Closed adoptions can also help birth parents with the grieving process because closed adoptions provide a sense of closure and the ability to move on with their lives. They get a new beginning (“Open”). In an open adoption,...