Barney The Hitler Of My Genera

963 words - 4 pages

Barney is The Hitler of My Generation 1992 marked a dark year in our nation's television history. That was the year a small production company brought to life an over-sized, giggling buffoon on the Public Broadcasting System (PBS). Barney & Friends was born. Oh, if only we had known better. Barney rode the crest of a dinosaur wave that swept the country in the early 1990's. Since then, researchers have proven Barney to be the spawn of Satan, and even educational leaders ponder the validity of his Nazi-like teachings. Barney & Friends is a show that PBS should definitely remove from its television line-up. Following the film Jurassic Park and TV shows such as Dinosaurs, Sheryl Leach, a Texas school teacher frustrated by the lack of "quality interactive and educational entertainment," created a fat purple dinosaur named Barney, and a dragon sidekick named Baby Bop for her two years old son(Tolentino 2). Thus, the Barney phenomenon was born. Conceived as a show that would help little children celebrate childhood and understand the complex business of growing up in a world where sixth graders carry guns to school, Barney & Friends has achieved a cult-like following among toddlers who swear upon their mother's graves that he is God himself. Barney has become a marketing win-fall. With an international fan club of more than six hundred thousand and video sales that outnumber copies of Cannonball Run and Playboy's Lingerie Video combined, Barney is slowly taking over the world. Barney has brainwashed the world's children into thinking he is a god, when truly he is the spawn of Satan himself. Recently, a student at Duke University published a theorem about Barney being the spawn of Satan: Given that Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR, Barney can be shown to be Satan. The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for printing, meaning the roman representation for Barney would be CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR. Extracting the roman numerals, we have: C, V, V, L, D, I, and V. Their decimal equivalents are 100, 5, 5, 50, 500, 1, 5. Adding those numbers produces 666. 666 is the number of the Beast. Barney is Satan. ("More" 1) Another example comes from the Bible: "And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, his feet were the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him power, and his seat great authority" (Revelation 13:2). Based on my interpretation, that passage says that Barney has spots, not unlike a leopard, his feet are large and broad, just like a bear, and his mouth is large and protruding creating senseless noise, like a lion ("Biblical" 1). As we know Baby Bop, his sidekick, does take on the form of a dragon, and toddlers will scream and cry, forcing their parents to travel many miles just to watch his purple majesty sing at...

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