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Beam Me Up Scotty! Essay

821 words - 3 pages

"Here she comes to wreck the day!!!" It was a cold, windy Autumn day in Mongolia when it happened. The Icly family was huddling in their cave next to a fire. They were cavemen, and it was 50,000 B.C. , the Ice Age. Darco Icly recognized the dreadful sound first, and knew danger was coming. Being the "intelligent" Neanderthal he was, he made a dim-witted motion attempting to signal the family towards the back of the cave, but...it was too late. "Hello fellow Icly's! Auntie Sisqo's back! Come give me a kissy kissy kids!". Aunt Sisqo had returned. You'd have to know Aunt Sisqo to understand her annoyance and have an aversion to her. "Come here, and give Aunt Sisqo at least a hug little ones! You too Petar", she said, indicating for the Icly kids: Lylo and Petar to greet her. Aunt Sisqo was always like that, she at all times talked about her self as a 3rd person. For example, if she was telling one of her long, dragging-on-with-no-point stories, and someone interrupted her, she'd snap something like, "Do not speak while Aunt Sisqo is speaking! Aunt Sisqo is teaching you a life lesson now you here?". What was equally aggravating was this obese woman's voice. Imagine an aging woman, no doubt- crazy, about 20 times to big for her species, with a high-pitched, and scratchy voice, plus, who sort-of sang when she talked. Now, multiply that irritation by 10 and you equal Aunt Sisqo.Hopefully now you can realize why the Icly's weren't so happy to see her. Even though they disliked her, they were a kind, generous family, and was very nice to her. Petar Icly was a gentleman (with a Cranial Capacity of 2) and he courteously showed Aunt Sisqo to the back of their cave home. "Oh guess what Icly's? Aunt Sisqo has discovered a great...err...discovery," she whispered loudly. After no one made a stir to ask what, so, she told them to "Guess what Aunt Sisqo discovered" and Lylo Icly sarcastically smiled and asked what was the great discovery. She began her story, "During my vacation to Southern Asia, I met a crazy little cave man who insisted he traveled to the future and back numerous times. Being the curious old woman like myself I went to go check it out. At first, he resisted in letting me in, and, due to our sexual...

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