In an interview recently I was asked to describe the best and the worst parts of being gay. This came as a quite unexpected question under the given circumstances: I hoped we were all past that.
Immediately, I filled with fear and tears. Not only was I being asked to describe joy and pain, I had to put off my own lingering shame issues to do it. Worse, I had to do it on camera and felt an immediate Christian obligation to offer some kind of hope to the viewer. I suited up emotionally with a prayer and my deepest breath in years. "Dear God, help me to not completely fuck this up! Please speak through me!"
The camera rolled.
My immediate response to both questions, to my surprise, was the same answer- my rambling went something like this:
The best and worst part of being gay is the culture.
Gay culture has a bad image with every shallow gym-bunny-coke-snorting-techno-listening-popper-sniffing-queer out there. Many of them are truly less deep than the 8-ball up their nose. And it just keeps getting worse: Enter crystal-meth amphetamine and publicity. A few years ago, while baby-sitting eight and nine year old boys, they liked to watch Will&Grace. They thought the gay ONE was funny. This is my point exactly.
However, this is the same culture that will defend you to the bitter end. You can place an 85 year-old Judy- listening-chicken hawk-nasty-bitter-old-queen right next to a 15 year-old twink in a rainbow g-string, and it would appear they have nothing in common. The very common family ground they stand on is that they both know the pain, the shame, the anxiety, the fear (need I continue) of at one time having to verbalize to this assumedly straight world that they are the antithesis: they both like cock.
They had to admit it not only to themselves and families, but on a degree of public social level as well. Even closeted folks have not chosen certain pains, but pain remains present nevertheless. No matter how it is dealt with, we all live with a burden of being gay. Every gay person has been affected at one time or another by this exile.
The very culture that is deplorable by media and many religious standards is the same that will kill for you. Even if we fight amongst ourselves, don?t mess with us as a whole. I am certain there must have been participants of the Stonewall Riots that deeply disliked each other on...