This website uses cookies to ensure you have the best experience. Learn more

Best Man Speech Funny & Inspirational

1061 words - 4 pages

I am going to keep this speech fairly short because of my throat, Pooja said that if I made fun of the groom too much she would cut it.

Pooja, you look absolutely gorgeous… radiant. I saw Salim swell with pride when he saw you today. He is truly a lucky man to have someone so attractive, intelligent, warm and caring. A wife who will be all he could ever wish for, and more.

And my little brother…well well… you’ve finally done it… after 30 years of endless soulsearching… you’ve finally taken the plunge… and admitted that I am really the best man. Thank you for giving in. It’s been a long struggle… and the best man has won. And now I hope you don’t mind if I kick you while you’re down…

I’ve been waiting for this chance for 30 years, and have been building up a portfolio of all the crude, rude and lewd things Salim got up to over the years.

So.. we have a bald filmmaker and a short lawyer getting married… a comedians dream… but I promised salim that I wouldn’t mention the word short or bald in this speech… plus, pooja is actually quite tall… for a 7 year old… Anyways…

Let me tell you a little story… it begins about 5 years ago…
A day I’ll always remember… when Priten, Pooja’s brother, came home to a party which my sister Tasreen held, with his two lifelong loves… Pooja and a bottle of Jack Daniels. We all thought that Pooja was his girlfriend, but as the night progressed, we noticed Priten paying much more attention to Jack… and Pooja was left unattended sitting on the balcony stairs… Salim came onto the scene, baseball cap carefully placed to cover his bald spot, surveyed the terrain and pounced on the stair next to Pooj… Pooja was startled… ‘hi’ Salim said, ‘you have really nice feet’… Pooja’s startled eyes smiled in pity at this extraordinarily lame line… and that same look has graced their relationship ever since.

Since then Salim has attempted to impress Pooja in many ways. He wanted to become a pilot, but quit after the only job he could get was at Receding Airlines. Then he tried his hand at marketing… but that ended fast after he tried to rename White Rose into DT Dhobi… then finally he blossomed on stage as an actor at the Phoenix Theater, narcissist that he is. He ended up in New York where the baseball cap turned into a film directors cap… and that, like Pooja, has become a love of his life.

I have known Salim for all 30 years of his life… through thick and thin… he started as a bully-able young kid and has grown into my closest friend, my confidant, my soul-brother, my mini-me. Salim I wish for you only the best in life… and Pooja is that best. Take care of her. She is your mirror that you may learn about yourself. She is your conscience that you may serve the world. She is your lawyer that you may never be...

Find Another Essay On Best Man Speech Funny & Inspirational

Meaningful and Sentimental Best Man Speech

831 words - 3 pages Meaningful and Sentimental Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I would like to echo the groom's sentiments and mention that all the bridesmaids look truly beautiful, indeed. Also, I'd like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today, as for the groom he just looks stunned. I am on a strict time limit from the bride, so the more you laugh at my jokes, the quicker my speech will be. It is beautiful to see so

Best Man Wedding Speech with Many Jokes

1125 words - 5 pages Best Man Wedding Speech with Many Jokes The moment has arrived?. its time for a little character assassination?.. and as Kyle best man?.. its my opportunity to slate him. Although, as Henry the Eighth said to each of his wives?.. I wont keep you long Having never done this before, I really didn?t know how long my speech should last General opinion suggests it should last about as long as it takes the groom to make love, so

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man

702 words - 3 pages Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be

Humorous Best Man Speech for Two Best Men

1101 words - 4 pages Humorous Best Man Speech Written for Two Best Men Best man 1: Good evening everyone. I must warn you we are both pretty nervous about doing this speech. We have spent many a night awake, trying plan it to no avail. We were both so nervous about doing this speech we asked the groom for some advice on how to prepare for talking to a large audience. Best man 2: So he did. He told us to imagine that you are all naked, so if you don't mind

The Reaction of Colin Powell's Speech at Howard University

963 words - 4 pages sloppy side to yourself. Colin Powell conclusion was perfect because he concluded with wishing the Howard graduation class the best of luck in the future. That is a classic way to end a speech. Colin Powell really showed how much of an intelligent person he really was. This man went to a trouble university a brought them back into the light of the white media. Instead of hatred, he preached loved and that is why he is one of the great African-Americans in the history of the world.

Satire Essay

888 words - 4 pages At the latest press conference held by Apple, the new groundbreaking innovation for the iPhone 6 was finally revealed to the public. After years of mingling about in the barbarian state of face-to-face conversation, society is finally being introduced with the ability to eliminate the middle-man, and communicate solely through the use of their smart phone. The feature is called Siri-Speech, which helps envelop the user in the dissociation that

JFK's Inaugural Address

992 words - 4 pages JFK's inaugural address was very inspirational and these are just some important factors that I found to be interesting. His speech used strong words but they were very understandable. It would have been a joy to actually experience being there for this speech. JFK was trying to tell his listeners that he would try his best to bring peace to the country and that he would treat everyone equally. He says here: "The world is very

Humour in a Midsummer Night's Dream

1323 words - 5 pages obvious. His speech is overdone with him crying, ?O? so many times.This part is funny because we see how terrible an actor he is, yet he thinks he is so great and witty.He then goes on to address the wall directly, which only emphasises that the ?wall? is just a man with a terrible costume.When Theseus notices this and suggests that the wall should curse back, Pyramus does the worst thing an actor can do: he steps out of roll and corrects him on

Churchil: An Ideal Leader

1231 words - 5 pages actions had great negative effects on the world. It was because of Churchill that Great Britain and the rest of society were able to overcome World War II. Also, he did not demand for followers, but gained them through his inspirational words. Near the end of the war on November 9, 1942, Winston Churchill gave a speech, one that would go down in history. He said, “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps

Analysis of Jim Valvano’s Arthur Ashe Award Acceptance Speech

1062 words - 5 pages attention and establish a connection with them. To do this, Valvano uses his cancer as an ethos appeal. Right at the beginning of the speech, he talks about his parents and how they raised him to be “a very emotional and passionate man”. As he says, “That’s being the son of Rocco and Angelina Valvano. It comes with the territory. We hug, we kiss, we love,” (Valvano). During the speech, he also brings in his family from the audience when he says

Sojourner Truth’s Story

899 words - 4 pages any man, eaten as much, and no one had ever given her the best of anything. She repeatedly asked the question “Ain’t I a Woman” throughout her speech (Women in History). Truth continued to give speeches and work for human rights (Butler, Mary G.). Sojourner Truth met Abraham Lincoln in 1864, and was appointed to work with the National Freedman’s Relief Association (“Sojourner Truth” C-Span American Writers). She worked directly with former

Similar Essays

Best Man Wedding Speech

1274 words - 5 pages Best Man Wedding Speech This is the first time Kevin's ever brought me dinner and I?m too nervous to eat it. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kevin's younger brother and my full name is Bobby What are you drinking, so if you see me at the bar later don't hesitate to call me by my full name. Unfortunately every silver lining does have A cloud, and that is that you've all got to listen to me for the next 5 minutes. I'd just like

Best Man Wedding Speech

531 words - 2 pages Best Man Wedding Speech Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – I'd like to start by saying that what a genuine honor it is to be part of Rick's wedding. Rick certainly is handsome tonight, with his fine rented tux and shoes. On a gala evening such as this, you may find it hard to believe that Rick has not always been so handsome. The truth is, Rick was so ugly at birth, the doctor slapped his mother! The nurses were no more sympathetic

Wedding Reception Speech – Best Man

1852 words - 7 pages Wedding Reception Speech – Best Man Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure you’ll all agree it’s been a fantastic day so far, but unfortunately for every silver lining there’s a cloud, and I’m yours. For those of you that haven’t bought me a drink yet, I’m Simon and I’ve been sentenced to being Randy’s best man today. It’s said that, being asked to be best man is one of the greatest honours you can be given, on the other hand it’s

Best Man Wedding Speech (Roast)

563 words - 2 pages Best Man Wedding Speech Ladies and Gentlemen, It's time for me to make a speech now and quite frankly, there's not a lot you can do about that. Well, if there's anybody here this evening who feels strangely nervous and apprehensive, it's probably because you just went and married Bill Meyers! Sorry Lacy - It's too late now. You're stuck with him. When it comes to Best Man's speeches there are some things in the interests of good