Brody Analysis

1568 words - 7 pages

My first day of classes my freshmen year of college, I met Brody. He was my peer instructor for an introduction class to college called ICS (Intro to College Success). When I saw him I knew that I was attracted to him but he was a big, sophomore, football type of guy and I was a shy, tiny little freshman. It seemed like I did not have a chance. Throughout the next couple weeks we got to know each other through simple class activities but we never talked about anything personal. Finally, a mutual friend was tired of me gushing about Brody and how much I liked him so, our friend decided to explain to Brody my feelings. It only took 5 minutes for Brody to reach out to me. From there, we started ...view middle of the document...

As the night went on, we got into more personal issues such as I opened up about my trust issues and he admitted that he’s actually in Anger Management and has been for awhile. I have never opened up to someone so much so quickly. Every time we hung out, we disclosed more and more. We eventually moved into an intimate relationship.
There are four stages in the Social Penetration Process: Orientation, Exploratory Affective Exchange, Affective Exchange and finally, Stable exchange. Healthy relationships spend time in each stage and gradually work through each stage until they either terminate the relationship or hit the final stage. Brody and I have only gotten to the Affective Exchange stage but we have not stayed there. When we first met in class, we were in the orientation stage. We were very superficial with our self-disclosure and told each other things that we were comfortable telling the whole class. When we hung out alone, we moved into the Exploratory Affective Stage. We started revealing some private parts of our lives and started to be comfortable with each other. In this stage, we both started to randomly start conversations and we became friends. I would say that when Brody and I’s friendship progressed from a friendship into a relationship is when we progressed into the third stage, Affective Exchange. By the time, I was completely comfortable with him. He became my person that I leaned on when times got rough. He would always try and help me through all my issues and I would do the same for him. However, this is where issues starting arising. Brody did not lean on me as much as I leaned on him and at times, I felt that I was burdening him because I had yet another problem I needed help with. We also started having problems with miscommunications and still are to this day. I am very straightforward with my feelings toward him now because I am that comfortable with him but he’s not able to do the same. He is most comfortable with hinting at what how he feels or what he wants and expects me to understand what he’s trying to say. Brody was in a relationship with another girl on campus but Brody and I were still friends. During this time, I realized that my feelings for him had grown significantly and I had to decide if I should tell him even though he was in a committed relationship. I finally decided that this was something I felt that I needed to be honest about so I told him and he responded very well but did not reciprocate the feelings. A few weeks later, he broke up with his girlfriend for me, but never actually told me. He contacted me right after he ended things and he only hinted at us being together but at the time I did not pick up on these hints and actually told him that I was interested in someone else and was going to pursue that. This obviously created tension and is something I consider a key component in our recent termination of the relationship.
Brody and I go through periods of time were we do not talk for months...

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