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Causes And Consequences Of Marital Breakdown

884 words - 4 pages

Helga Kissová, 3ESANThe Causes and Consequences of Marital BreakdownMarriage is a complex interpersonal relationship. Among the reasons for marriage are emotional, financial, spiritual, and religious ones. In some religions marriage is considered to be a sacred bond between a man and a woman and to break it up is viewed as a blasphemous act. However, nowadays divorce is becoming an everyday process and people do not even blink if a marriage fails. Marital breakdown generally arises from a variety of causes. This essay deals with some of these causes, probable consequences and possible solutions of marital breakdown.There are many reasons why some marriages last and others break down. According Talcott Parsons and Ronald Fletcher 1 the increasing number of downfall of marriages is rooted in the fact that marriage means too much for people. Their expectations are too high to be reached and it may lead to a split up. Hart 2(1976) says that "the adaptation of the family to the requirements of the economic system has placed a strain on the marital relationship". Edmund Leach 3(1967) states that if a family is overwhelmed by emotions, it can disturb the relationship between its members. Another viewpoint is that if emotions, mainly love disappears from a relationship, it is doomed to fall apart (Dennis 4, 1975). In the past the Church was against divorces, it preached that: Those whom God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Nevertheless, due to the raising number of divorces, the Church had to take from its strict morality. Goode 5(1971) argues that today people wonder about "'Is this a more useful or better procedure for my needs?'" instead of thinking about the morality of divorce.A highly praised psychologist and researcher John Gottman 6, PhD. demonstrated that there are four stages of marital breakdown which he named "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse". The first stage deals with the conflicts and complaints between the spouses. Many couples have disagreements once in a while but for those who quarrel non-stop and cannot find a compromise it may result in filling divorce papers. The second stage of the breakdown illustrates the decrease of emotional bond. As an example Gottman shows us how love and passion can turn into disdain, even hatred. If a married couple constantly argues, it does not necessarily mean that they have unsolvable problems. They still can respect each other. But as soon as they start to feel contempt toward each other, "the marriage is on shaky ground". Contempt leads to the third stage of this process, which includes the partners' defensive behavior. It concerns mainly men who become unfeeling after many quarrels and...

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