"Poison," Mac said, smoothing his beak down an errant wing feather. "Suzetta never gets caught, and she's poisoned one half-sister, a second-cousin, and two rich great aunts — who, coincidentally, all left her a fortune in their wills."
"For the hundredth time, Suzette doesn't get caught because she isn't real. Everything she does is scripted." Davie shook his head, then turned back to the morning paper.
Mac hopped from his perch on the top of a kitchen chair, to the tabletop. He and Davie needed to take action now. Amanda was on the verge of killing them, and if his calculations were on the money, it was going to happen very soon. Probably today.
"It's Suzettah," Mac corrected. "And of course she's real. She's on The Bold and the Bitchy every morning. She's a famous fashion designer."
"She plays a fashion designer," Davie said, without looking at him.
Mac kept his irritation in check. Davie always tried to sound bored when he wanted to end a conversation. Lucky for Davie, Mac wasn't about to let this particular conversation drop. Their lives depended on him getting through to his buddy.
"Lindsay Parton's on TV," Mac said. "Is she, or is she not, real?"
Davie continued reading without looking up. "Lindsay Parton is real...well, most of her, anyway. But Suzetta, and Shelby, and Damian—they aren't real people. They're actors. There's a difference."
"So if you see someone making a cake on TV, it's not really a cake."
Davie looked up, then shook his head a little, an aggravating habit he'd picked up from that bitch Amanda. Without a word, he went to the cupboard and poured himself another cup of coffee.
"So you're not a poison kinda guy," Mac said nonchalantly. "How about suffocation?"
"Now you're being ridiculous." Davie sat back down.
Davie looked up with a surprised expression. "I am?"
Mac bobbed his head up and down. "She's got an incredible set of lungs on her. It'd take you, me, and a small army to get her to stop breathing."
Davie turned to face him. "C'mon, Mac. Just listen to what you're saying."
Mac cocked his head to one side. "It's not me that has to listen. It's you. That bitch of a wife is planning to kill us. I know it's something you don't want to hear, but it's true."
"I'm not in the mood," Davie said, exasperated.
"Yikes!" Mac squawked. "Now you're even starting to sound like her."
"Very funny." Davie shook his head and turned another page of the paper.
Mac hopped to the edge of his plate, decapitated the cat pancake with...