Communicating with the Opposite Sex
Each of us came from a man and a woman, a mother, and a father. Our parents or the people who raised us had an important impact on our development. Each of us may have had one or more sisters or brothers who also had an impact on who we are. And each of our parents was also influenced by the family she or he was born into, the personalities and life situation they encountered, the struggles they had, the learning they brought to these struggles and passed on to their children.
The point is whatever you grew up with; who your parent were, the kinds of lives they led, they way they related to each other and to you has been handed down to you and affects your attitudes and your sense of loyalty, direction, and responsibility. What you learn from your family still affects your life today. By recovering impressions, memories, and associations, you can open up your choices. You have little choice about how to change your behavior until you reflect on who you are. Our life scripts are shaped by the early lesson we learn from our family. I remember, when my mother use to advise me that proper communication is the key in establishing and maintaining a deep and satisfying marital relationship. It is the cornerstone of marriage. It reinforces trust that allow the partners to keep growing and acts a method by which you can share your problems, frustrations, fear, anxieties, hopes, and successes with the person who should be your best friend; your spouse.
Being married for five years, l has seen that effective communication is a requirement for effective problem in an intimate relationship. How we communicate is the problem more often than what we communicate. If the way we communicate do not work with our partner, then our message of concern, and hope, and love may not get through. Without clear communication, we cannot make our needs known and we cannot negotiate to meet them. We must genuinely consider the feelings of our partner as well as our own; if our message are not moderate by tact and sensitivity, then the reactions of our partner may block the message we intend to send.
Marriage deservers a rich communication. Even as an "option" for men and women, it is still the dominant choice for old and young alike. In an intimate relationship there are ways to communicate that are useful and ways to communicate that are harmful. It is useful to be direct, saying what you need to be said; it is harmful to be indirect, with subtle hints and ambiguous statements out of context. It is useful to be clear and precise, spelling out exactly what we mean; is harmful to be vague, leaving it to out partner to figure out what we mean. It is useful to specific, giving concrete detail or...