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Confessions Of An Intellectual Autobiography Rel

2134 words - 9 pages

Confessions of an Intellectual I never liked introductions. Too much information about a given topic to merely ignore, but too little to really care about. There will be no introduction. Put simply, you don't want to read one, and I don't want to produce one.I could have a girlfriend right now if I wanted to. But why the hell would I want to? An analysis, perhaps. The pros: security, companionship, knowing you can get some ass whenever you want to, the positive effect being 'taken' has on your sex appeal. The cons: no sense of challenge (this is the big one!), the eventuality that you will grow tired of each others' exclusive company, the necessity to 'break up' your oh-so-intimate bond at some point (which will inevitably make things awkward), she tells her friends how you're some huge asshole once you stop calling her, you start to feel a perverse desire to provide the public with what they expect from you, you misogynist (just give them what they deserve)… lowered expectations across the board. Entrapment.This is not a difficult choice.My problem is that nobody out there is good enough for me. They are flawed, not I. How many times must this be repeated before it is believed? I am a fucking rock! Hold on a second: Who is this kid, anyway? Who has any right to assume an intellect (or presence of mind, as you love to put it) so far superior to everyone else? His fatal flaw lies in his inherent absence of objectivity. He is invested in the scenario. Do you understand yet? It is impossible for the mind to transcend its natural boundaries in an effort to rightfully assess the relative qualities of another mind. Still confused? Try relating it to the I.Q. conundrum. How can man fairly measure intelligence (or any matter pertaining to the mind) when he is ultimately limited by his own (he absolutely cannot escape it)? The meat of this argument tends to enter the realm of theology, which is well beyond the scope of this digression.This conversation happens all too often.ME: "So I'm dating Stephanie." FRIEND: "She's hot dude, does she put out?" "Yeah, but she ." "You're , you know that?" "Yes... anyway, I think I'm going to break up with her." "How are you going to do it?" at this point I can tell my friend wants to get on her, but I don't care.... she has already been conquered (broken) "I'm too much of a pussy just to tell her, plus I don't want to look like an asshole. I might just treat her like shit until SHE dumps ME. Or I could cheat on her..... like I did with Sarah and Meghan." "But then you will look like a bigger asshole than if you just told her in the first place." "But this way other people will think I'm cool, plus I have to live up to my reputation (read: asshole/player)." "So do you care if I get on her?" "No." When I meet girls, I switch to predatory mode. I don't want to get to know them, their minds are worth nothing to me. I want to acquire them. This is what I do. As soon as we meet, the game is afoot. If I deem you worthy...

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