Dealing With Defiance Essay

1243 words - 5 pages

Many parents deal with rebellious behaviors from their children everyday. Of course, it is only normal for children to rebel at times, but when does the defiance begin to be too much? What many parents might not know is that their child may have a serious disorder. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a unique interaction of ill-fitting temperaments that can occur at home, at school, and within the community. "Five to fifteen percent of all school-age children have ODD" (AACAP). Untreated, ODD has a significant impact between parents and the child."Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least six months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:1. Often loses temper.2. Often argues with adults.3. Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules.4. Often deliberately annoys people.5. Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior.6. Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others.7. Is often angry and resentful.8. Is often spiteful or vindictive.It is important to note that a counselor or therapist will consider a diagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder only if the behavior occurs more frequently than is typically observed in individuals of comparable age and developmental level" (Kathi).My son was diagnosed with this disorder at age six. Since age two, I encountered almost every behavior stated above, on a daily basis. I listened to what everybody else was saying and concluded that he was just a bad kid. There were many times when the behavior began to be unbearable. Learning how to deal with this disorder and learning how to use my parenting skills more strategically, has extremely helped me. In dealing with this type of situation, I have learned that parents can do many things to help control the temperaments of a defiant child.Parents can do many things to help control the temperaments of a defiant child. Parent training can be a major factor for getting children to be more compliant. First, consequences and rewards must be given immediately. Immediacy is very important because it lets the child know right then, whether their actions are acceptable or unacceptable. Second, consequences should be very specific. Children with O.D.D. tend to need different consequences for different behaviors. Never generalize a consequence with other defiant behaviors because each behavior has its own uniqueness to it. In addition, consequences should never be based on how frustrated or impatient the parent might feel. Third, be consistent. Consistency must be followed through everywhere. If things are done a certain way at home, then they must be done the same elsewhere. This will make the child more aware of what to expect while away from the home. Fourth, use rewards first, before consequences. Many parents get so frustrated that they begin to use negativity and then they do not...

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