"Dealing With People You Can't Stand"

1935 words - 8 pages

Whether at work or at home, we all have to deal with difficult people. Our challenge is to develop creative ways to handle these difficult people. Brinkman and Kirschner, in their book Dealing with people you cant stand: how to bring out the best in people at their worst, have just made this task easier with this creative and fun guidebook. Within the pages they identify and explore the psychological roots of ten specific behavior patterns that represent normal people at their worst. The doctors believe that changing oneself is more realistic than changing the behavior of others, the authors provide a variety of communicative skills that we can cultivate in ourselves to turn conflict into cooperation.The ten specific behavioral styles are identified with a metaphoric word picture on order to clearly identify the style. These styles are:1. The Tank: the person who interacts with others by brute force, knocking over those who stand in his way2. The Sniper: the person who takes shots at others from behind well constructed, or well chosen cover.3. The Grenade: the person who attacks others in an effort to disable them so his / her ideas will be more accepted.4. The Know it all: the person who genuinely has ideas that are more well suited than others ideas, and (s)he knows it.5. The I-Think-I-Know it all: the person who thinks their ideas are better than everyone else.6. The Yes person: this person believes that their ideas will be accepted by affirming and approving of those around him.7. The Maybe person: the person who want to be everyone's friend, not make any waves, and put his ideas forward by giving others tentative approval while having his / her own agenda in mind.8. The Nothing person: This person genuinely is a black hole, ideas that go his way disappear, with not alternate proposal forthcoming.9. The No Person: the person who objects to everything, and everyone else's idea. This may be a hiding place for another style, of this person may be genuinely cantankerous and doesn't want to associate with others.10. A whiner: Insecure with their own abilities, this person whines as a way to secure favor, attention, and recognition.As can be seen from this list, each of these communication and relationship styles is eventually destructive to proactive, positive communication. Since the key to successful business operation and growth in the information age is so dependant on communication, finding ways to positively address these disruptive communication styles is a key to the success of employees, managers, leaders, and executives.It is important to note early, as the authors do, that approaching other people with the intention to change them is self defeating. These communication styles may be disruptive to the business environment, but business must progress. Waiting for others to change before things can get better is as self defeating as trying to change them. In the end, we only have power over ourselves, so the author suggest different...

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