Depression In Adolescence Essay

1379 words - 6 pages

The prevalence of MDD is higher in women than in men. It has a ratio of 2:1. This case study is based on my life and how I myself have dealt with depression. I was 12 years old when I started to show the first signs of depression. I believe there were several causes for my development of depression. I was just beginning middle school with all these new people that I knew nothing about, at the time some of my family that I had grown up with my entire life were moving, friends that I had a relationship with just last year I no longer talked to, and my strained relationship with my father took a turn for the worse. That year I found out that my aunt and her two children that I spent the ...view middle of the document...

Later on that night my mom talked to me and asked if I was feeling depressed. I denied that I was feeling depressed. I didn’t want to stress my mom out further at the time and have her worry about my feelings. I don’t really like to express my feelings all the time so I became more withdrawn. I would barely talk to my mom or my little brothers. Most of my time I would bye in my room with the curtains drawn closed. Soon the only thing that kept me going was reading and music. I loved to read because it was an escape from my world. The days felt too long and all I wanted to do was be by myself and read. I would hate going to school or just leaving the house period. The only good thing about school was the fact that I was in my middle school’s band. Music kept me going also because I would listen to songs to try and make myself happy and some songs I felt the lyrics echoed the way I felt. There were times late at night when I would contemplate suicide to make it all go away. I felt alone and that no one understood how I felt. The thing that I was the most depressed about was my relationship with my father. For as long as I can remember my dad and I have not had the best relationship. I always felt that he didn’t really care about me and the only reason he did anything for me is because of my mom and her side of the family. He raised his four nieces and nephews who are all at least 8 years older. My dad would always choose to spend time with them and do things for them before he would do things for me. Especially, if he and my mom weren’t getting along. My mom knew that I really wanted a relationship with my dad, but I would never voice my problems to him because I didn’t want to push him farther away. In the earlier years I would let my feelings out on him passive aggressively, but that wasn’t good because I was being very disrespectful so after a while I just stopped talking. Of course at the time my depression started I was 12 years old. This is the time period when a child’s hormones develop sexually. Most kids become aggressive physically and violently or they become sexually active I did neither. Withdrew from the world and couldn’t seem to get out of this dark hole of depression. This dark part of my depression lasted for four years. Throughout that period I did not seek professional help instead I hid it from the world as best as I could. I would cry in my room by myself, dry my tears, and go and try to bond with my family. I would joke about it and call it “releasing pressure”. Time continued and it got better. It wasn’t as bad and I slowly started to get more involved with other people and continued to stay involved with band. There were still low points when I would...

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