Insomnia…How to describe it? Well, that’s a very complicated question. You're too drowsy to do anything, but too hyper to fall asleep. Frustration and agitation takes over. You want to sleep but you can't. You want to do something else besides lying there, turning from this side to that. You spend the entire night wondering if you'll ever fall asleep, then you see the sun rise and you realize you haven’t slept at all but still must perform your everyday duties. You can't focus; you can't think straight; all you want to do is sleep. If you get a chance to sleep, you can't. It's a horrific feeling…craving to sleep but not being able to.
But once upon a time, on a very dark and lonely night, the people in my head began speaking to me.
They had probably been speaking to me for years, but not always. Only sometimes in the heavy stillness between midnight and sunrise could I hear them. Their voices weren't very loud, but such is the nature of ghosts.
That's how I tend to think of them: ghosts, dead voices from other worlds, possibilities that could have been, but were aborted in the wash of time and destiny. Fate snapped their cords, and instead of existence in the living world, they found themselves relegated to the darker regions of my brain.
I tried to ignore them at first; fearful that the icy cold whispers would drive me mad. But eventually a night came that lasted forever, and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t shut the voices out. So I listened, trying to make sense of the chaos of lives being lived within me. Some were frightening: monsters hidden beneath human faces, madmen who built shrines from the bones of murdered human beings, or who doused themselves in the blood of infants to give them eternal youth. Others were mundane, people living lives of such numbing ordinariness that it hurt to listen to them. Some I hated others I loved with agonizing passion.
All of them were slowly driving me mad.
Slowly the voices grew louder as more...