Here is a quick word cluster that you should be aware of:
“Loving someone that abuses themselves in turn abuses us.”
How do I know this?
First of all I am a drug addict. I have found my way to recovery but only after 30 years of abuse. The second reason is that I’m guilty of hurting the ones I love with my behavior in being a chronic drug abuser. The third reason is that I’m well practiced at being in close friendships with people that are addicted when I have made the improbable but important decision to become sober.
As the last sentence implies I have made the decision to be sober many times. In most cases it has had disastrous results. This is mainly due to the fact that I have not always been strong in my resolve to change.
Fighting addiction can be lonely. While I don’t suggest doing it alone is the only way to go sometimes. If the people around you are not committed sobriety, as is the case with most of us seasoned users, it makes being social antithetical.
It isn’t that hard to isolate yourself from people. You can change your number. You can stop going to bars. Even quarantining addicted family members is simple. Clearing out when Uncle Bill breaks out the spiked eggnog and dons the lampshade is smart for someone in recovery
It is a different sort of story when it comes to the people we love romantically though. No matter how far you attempt to go on your new path dragging someone along with you will be a burden.
I will reference a bible verse that I have recently come across.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14
This is a passage about idol worship but it works here.
Say you are trying to move a heavy object and decide to use an ox to do it. You pick the largest one in your herd but you find that you are unable to move it very far. So you decide to use a wooden block or a yoke to transfer the weight between two oxen. Only the second ox isn’t as strong or tall as the first so when you try to move them all you do is make a big circle. The solution is to yoke together two beasts even in size and height so they can move forward...