Do you remember the first time we met? I do as I cannot shake the memory. It was love at first sight. I’ll never forget the feeling I had. A warmth overcame my body as you stoked a fire in my heart. It was like I had spent my life drowning in the sea around me and you were that breath of fresh air as I pulled myself out. My cares and concerns melted away. I was complete. You were exactly what I had been missing in my life. My better half you completed me you made me whole. Your touch, your scent, your glistening radiance I took it all in. I felt its force enter my body working its way to the very center of my soul. It felt like a real living breathing thing coalescing within my life force touching parts of me I never knew existed. You awakened some innate primal desire and I needed you at all times.
Little did I realize that I was dancing with the devil. In the beginning the thought never crossed my mind. You were beautiful and I loved you. You gave me everything I wanted. You gave me confidence and made me strong. You made me outgoing and made me the Social King. Most of all you gave me love. You were there through thick and thin. You were the beacon of light in the darkness that surrounded me. We spent many a night just you and me getting to know the ins and outs of each other. We didn’t need anything or anyone else. We had enough with each other.
As time went on, though, things changed. I should have known it was too good to be true. It was no abrupt change. Today I realize it was subtle. You were sneaky. You began to get jealous of my attention to other things besides you. Slowly at first you called me away from my relationships, my schooling, my work, and ultimately my goals. I became preoccupied with your incessant need for attention. There was no time for anything else. You had me 24/7.
I should have realized then that this wasn’t love. What I had felt for you was lust. I should cut you off. I was blinded though. I was determined to make things work. I had never forgotten that feeling you gave me when I first met you. I desperately tried to attain that feeling again. I tried everything I could think of. I found myself doing unimaginable things to try to please you. Nothing worked it only made me feel worse. It drove me completely opposite of the destination I was seeking.
I had begun seeking a way out. I was too scared too incapable of cutting you off and letting you go though. You were comfortable and familiar. I stuck by you because you were all I had and all I knew. I figured it was better to feel the pain then nothing at all for ultimately I had nothing left. You had take and driven away everyone and everything else.
Finally one day I had enough. Luckily, I was forced away from you and I was able to clearly decipher what had happened. You had driven me to hopelessness and helplessness. You had driven me to the ultimate despair. You sent me to hell. That brush with the devil...