"First come love, then comes marriage, then comes baby…". A popular childhood jingle that suggests that before becoming married and having children, there should be that period of dating which will determine whether or not love is the feeling that is abound in a relationship. The two individuals having come to the realization that they love each other might then make the crucial decision that they should spend the rest of their lives together in holy matrimony. Having made the decision enter into marital bliss, there is usually a period of counselling where the couple is 'educated' on the pros and cons of being in a long-term commitment such as marriage, but are they really being educated?
Let us look on what education really means. Philosopher and educationist Krishnamurti (1953), is quoted as saying that, "to understand life is to understand ourselves and that is both the beginning and the end of education" . In this definition of education, it is suggested that education goes beyond the scope of knowing something, or to be equipped with the knowledge of something. It is having gained that knowledge and utilizing it because of the understanding that you have gained, is where education is obvious. Having established what education is, we can now decide whether or not education prepares men and women for marriage.
Pope John Paul II distinguished three stages in marriage preparation, namely, the remote, the proximate, and the immediate. John Paul II explains that the remote stage begins at childhood, where children learn from the values and decisions of their parents, which includes interacting and socializing with individuals in and outside of their family. The proximate stage begins at about purity when the child's hormonal changes begin to influence decision about relationships with the opposite sex, and the immediate is closest to that age or period when a person decides that he/she has found that significant other whom he/she will take as husband or wife ( May, 2010). However, this is just an opinion of the Pope. It is not guaranteed that being educated on these stages will cause individuals to be actually be prepared to live out the institution of marriage.
When a couple has been dating for years, it must be that they have understood life when they come to the decision that having being through the ups and downs of dating, they can now be in a legalized union, that will mean that they will decide to spend the rest of their lives together, for better and for worse. Even if a couple is not together for years at a time, the decision to stay together, after much talk from a pastor or family counsellor, should be that they are...