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Effect Of Divorce On Children: What About The Kids? By Judith S. Wallerstein And Sandra Blakeslee

1051 words - 4 pages

While divorce gives parents a novel opportunity to begin a new life, it leads to an unfortunate twist in lifestyle for the children. In “What About The Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce” Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., a psychologist who spent 25 years of her life studying the effects of divorce on children, and Sandra Blakeslee, a scientist writer who has spent nearly all of her profession writing for New York Times, wrote, “Each decision to divorce begins a long journey that holds surprising, unexpected turns.”. Divorce leads to many unforeseen negative consequences for the children involved. Some frequent symptoms such as, anxiety, depression, guilt and grief emerge in the children’s behavior.
Anxiety is used as a broad name for numerous disorders that involve nervous fear, and worrying; children experience nearly the equivalent feelings when their parents separate, for children behave in an overly intense and uptight conduct. As American Academy of Child and Adolescent points out, a couple of the symptoms of separation anxiety are: continuous worries about family and being overly clingy. A frequent children's worry appears when children go away from a parent leaving the other parent alone; moreover, children assume that in their absence parents get hurt or become unwell. Another familiar worry appears when the children sleep. Children have nightmares about their parent’s separation, fearing to be left unaccompanied at some point. Helpguide.org states that children are clingy with the parent that is taking care of them by following him/her around the dwelling and holding to the parent’s arm if he/she attempts to step outside of the dwelling. The overly clingy approach of children toward parents is caused by the children’s fear of being separated from the parent taking care of him/her. Anxiety in children going through a parent’s divorce is frequently unnoticed. Occasionally, children don’t know how to express their feelings, and hence their simple actions should tell what children are going through.
Alienation is the initial indication of depression in many children that are experiencing a parent’s divorce. As Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D. points out in “Parenting After Divorce; Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children’s Needs”, children become alienated towards a parent when he/she is constantly fighting against the other parent after separation. Parents usually utilize kids as messengers to evade talking to each other; consequently, the child enters in a stage of uncertainty not knowing who to judge and who to support. The child decides to alienate from a parent, and starts to isolate from their friends too, thus becoming depressed (129). Depression causes children to stop socializing with friends, and stop spending time with family; occasionally, resulting in the lack of social interaction. Depressed Children often tend to construct their own closed bubble in which not a single soul is welcome. Lacking social...

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