Trendy New Fashion Statement By Leanna Wiedman         The Alternative Kids

1067 words - 4 pages

Trendy New Fashion Statement By Leanna Wiedman The alternative kids have found something new with which to be trendy. Throw out the gothic clothes and the raver pants and dive into something unknown. What else could possibly be left for experimentation? That?s right, there is a new genre in the process of being created. It?s called Emo - a random, cool-sounding word. No one knows what it means, but it sounds good. Five phases have been created in order to help the less ?culturally hip? youngsters out there. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this new-found lifestyle.Phase One: The beginning. Let?s start with the clothing. Discard all of the Pacific Sunwear clothing. I suggest the replacement item be thin, tight, solid colored v-neck sweaters. Or better yet, small fitting t-shirts with random slogans on them. They should appear as though they are ?vintage.? Purchase horn-rimmed glasses with no prescription lenses, and claim they are needed in order to ?see.? And as for music, throw out all records from the labels Epitaph, Nitro, and Lookout. Proceed to the nearest music store and purchase all of the following musical bands: The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, Sunny Day Real Estate, and Weezer. Begin going to shows at the local music venue, regardless of who is playing. It is a building block for the Emo reputation. Join all the bands? fan clubs and wear all the t-shirts made by them on occasion.Phase Two: The music phase. Realize that actually liking the bands whose CD?s have been purchased are no longer considered ?cool? because they are ?sellouts.? Throw all those newly purchased CD?s out. Once again, proceed to the nearest music store and purchase the CD?s of the following ?Underground? bands: Death Cab for Cutie, Jets to Brazil, Built to Spill, and Alkaline Trio. With this new insight to music, start a band. The name must be at least three words long and must play music that ?cannot be classified.? That means that everyone who knows the band labels the music produced as Indie Rock. The last step to this phase is denying one ever listened to any of the bands from Phase One.Phase Three: A stage for growth. Once again, realize that the bands from Phase Two are not ?Underground.? This time, search the Internet in a panicked attempt to find real ?Underground? bands. Search on end until 7? albums are found by these bands: Mineral, Orchid, Moss Icon, and The Locust. Be different and start and on-line diary. Allow the world to experience the profound thoughts and ideas that race through an Emo kid?s head. Earn extra points for a domain with a name like, ?codeine.net.? While experiencing a writing frenzy, start a ?zine. Berate Phase One people for liking ?sellout? music and never knowing who the bands are that are written about in the magazine. Make many copies and hand them out at all the shows that are being attended. With all the popularity attained with the magazine, quit the band. Bands are lame. Stick to writing.Phase Four: A valid change. Define...

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