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Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men

790 words - 3 pages

Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.

For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it’s perfectly simple. Arthur wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn’t find one, so he got two barely competent ones instead.

So before I start, let me clarify the ‘role’ situation.

Dennis, Arthur’s university friend and very trustworthy, was responsible for carrying the rings in church. I am Steve, Arthur’s childhood friend and very good with lager (beer). I was responsible for organizing the stag weekend (bachelor’s party). We both had the responsibility of getting him to the church on time, smartly dressed and sober… but neither of us could achieve that last part.

And, regrettably, we have both been asked to give a short speech. So why does it take two of us to describe the bridegroom? Well, as the man in Moss Bros said, 'There's a lot to fit in'. But you can rest assured that I’ll be keeping my part brief… as I know the other bloke (guy) can drone on for hours!

So what can I tell you about Arthur Wilson? He is my oldest friend and I’m convinced that without his guiding hand while we were growing up I would have been half the man I am today… and certainly twice as popular. From an early age we lived a few doors away from each other, so not only did we become great friends we also became great rivals, and obviously I always came out on top! I was better than him at football, I made sure I had at least one penny more than him to buy sweets with, I was a year older, an inch taller and a size bigger in shoes. We'd measure everything, well, nearly everything! It's fair to say that over the years he has overtaken me in some things, like finding a terrific girl to marry.

You’ve married a beauty Arthur, Linda is such a kind hearted girl and will do anything it seems for her family and friends. Except let me take you down the pub on a Monday night to watch the televised game. Despite this, I consider her a friend and always look forward to being in her company. But such a beautiful, kind and intelligent girl could have the choice of any man, which...

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