Humorous Wedding Speech - Written Guidelines from the Bride
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must inform you that I’ve had quite a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. So please spare a thought and try not to clap too loudly during my speech because I’ve got a dreadful hangover and a splitting headache. You’d think I’d know better than to be out drinking in the early hours of the morning the night before a big wedding - but David’s a good friend (mate) and he needed some company.
Now, I'm sure a number of the guys here today have been a best man at a wedding before, but I wonder how many of you have ever received written guidelines from the bride to be? Before I go any further, I'd like to explain that two weeks ago I received this email from Phylis:
I was very pleased when David asked you to be best man at our wedding. I knew that by selecting you, he had made the right decision. But, as we get close to the day itself, I'm sure you appreciate the stress that we are both under. And adding to this, there are two aspects of the day that cause me concern - your speech and your conduct. I appreciate that as best man you are required to write a speech that pokes a certain amount of fun at the groom, with stories and jokes about his past exploits. But I do want you to remember that this is our wedding day, and I don't want something that you might say or do to spoil it. I would ask that you also keep a very close check on David as well. With this in mind, please take note of the following and I’m sure we’ll all have a wonderful day:
Remember at all times that my family is there.
Remember at all times that David's family is there.
So do not get drunk.