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Gainer Or Mourner Which Role Does The Mistress In

1039 words - 4 pages

Gainer or mourner - Which role does the mistress in a love affair with a married man play? Love affairs with a married partner involved used to have a wicked touch in our society in former times, but today, after the sexual revolution, it seems that the subject has lost a little bit of its delicate character. However, when discussing love affairs people still tend to see a sexist part in the topic. They often put the feminine lover in the role of a concubine, who does the man's bidding. The married man, in turn, is seen as the big "winner," because he often has it all: a sheltered and protected home where he is taken good care of and on the other hand a woman, usually younger than himself, who is responsible for the refreshment of his love life. But is it still realistic to put the mistress in the role of the poor victim? I think it is not. Society needs to realize that a love affair does not necessarily mean an exploitation of the mistress, and that she might be happy with the part-time relationship. In my paper I will discuss the outcomes for the mistress from her point of view, showing that she does benefit from the love affair, and that these benefits may even outweigh the negative aspects of being the lover instead of being the wife.Of course it would be unrealistic to assume that there are no negative outcomes of an affair with a married for the lover. The second-class status in which the mistress might fall into is one of them. Usually, because the man is married, the lover cannot have him completely and does not get all of his attention. She needs to plan her life around him, must be available when he has time to see her, faces the possibility that the wife could foiled her dating plans, and live with the constant risk of being discovered. Because the majority of love affairs are still hidden in secret, having one consequently results in secret meetings, hiding from the public, lies to family and friends.However, lovers, who enjoy having a love affair with a married man, are convinced that being the second woman does not necessarily put them in a second-class status. They argue that seeing him only part-time ensures that they get the best sides of him, since the limited time results in very intensive encounters where problems of every day life are deliberately ignored. In fact, the mistresses often know the true promise of exclusive weekend trips, dinners in fancy restaurants and expensive gifts. In addition to that, the status of a mistress results in fewer commitments and leaves out certain responsibilities within the relationship. Compared to the wife the mistress usually does not have to deal with household issues or children issues. As a result, a love affair can be the perfect form of a relationship for lovers who do not want to invest in it too much and enjoy playing a smaller role in the man's life than his wife and family does.Opponents of love affairs...

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