My Pa Pa always told me, “Give me my flowers while I’m here not when I’m dead.” A trip to my grandparent’s house in Olustee, Florida was always a trip I looked forward to. Their house always felt like another home to be, but that was until my grandfather passed away from having Alzheimer’s December 9th, 2012. When he passed, everything felt different. After December 9th, nothing really felt the same to me anymore. Due to my grandfather’s passing, my thoughts on life changed.
Even though my grandparents did not live in a big city, it was a fun small town. A town that was so small, it only had one traffic light. Everybody knew everybody. It was a real country town, but I loved it. Well, I use to love it. That’s how I used to feel about it until it happened.
Just stepping out the car, placing my feet on the dirt road, and walking to their gated but welcoming, blue house, thrilled me. Opening the door, the den always stood quiet as if no life was invited. Walking up the ramp to the living room, there my Pa Pa would sit on the soft sofa and watch TV. Then, I would sit on the sofa with him. Our joy and our laughter would always fill the room. That was until the day death decided to invite itself into the house.
It was a dark cold night in December. Opening the door to their house, the den sat quiet as usual, but something else was different. Walking to the living room, I did not hear a voice that always greeted me with joy. There was no room for joy, or laughter anymore. When I sat down, my Pa Pa’s bed sat across from me. I could see the bones through his skin, the bagginess of his white t-shirt, and the sadness that rest in his eyes. On his lips, a smile no longer lived. “Hi Pa Pa”, I say as I walked over to kiss his forehead. He tried to smile, but his glazing sad eyes told why it was hard for him to do so. Looking at him, I realized he was slowly fading from me. Soon death made its self-comfortable as it enter the still room.
Gasping for air, the piercing sound gave me chills. Hopeless, my Pa Pa sat looking towards the ceiling. I am not ready for his departure. My tears are falling heavily of my face and it lands the hard cold carpet floor. My tears are not good enough...