Gossip Essay

2384 words - 10 pages

"I vow not to talk about the faults of others." In the Zen tradition, this is one of the bodhisattva vows. For fully ordained monastics the same principle is expressed in the payattika vow to abandon slander. It is also contained in the Buddha's recommendation to all of us to avoid the ten destructive actions, the fifth of which is using our speech to create disharmony.The MotivationWhat an undertaking! I can't speak for you, the reader, but I find this very difficult. I have an old habit of talking about the faults of others. In fact, it's so habitual that sometimes I don't realize I've done it until afterwards.What lies behind this tendency to put others down? One of my teachers, Geshe ...view middle of the document...

We want to be respected and appreciated as much as they are. In the back of our minds, there's the thought, "If others see the bad qualities of the people I think are better than me, then instead of honoring and helping them, they'll praise and assist me." Or we think, "If the boss thinks that person is unqualified, she'll promote me instead." Does this strategy win others' respect and appreciation? Hardly.Some people "psychoanalyze" others, using their half-baked knowledge of pop-psychology to put someone down. Comments such as "he's borderline" or "she's paranoid" make it sound as if we have authoritative insight into someone's internal workings, when in reality we disdain their faults because our ego was affronted. Casually psychoanalyzing others can be especially harmful, for it may unfairly cause a third party to be biased or suspicious.The ResultsWhat are the results of speaking of others' faults? First, we become known as a busybody. Others won't want to confide in us because they're afraid we'll tell others, adding our own judgments to make them look bad. I am cautious of people who chronically complain about others. I figure that if they speak that way about one person, they will probably speak that way about me, given the right conditions. In other words, I don't trust people who continuously criticize others.Second, we have to deal with the person whose mistakes we publicized when they find out what we said, which, by the time they hear it, has been amplified in intensity. That person may tell others our faults in order to retaliate, not an exceptionally mature action, but one in keeping with our own actions.Third, some people get stirred up when they hear about others' faults. For example, if one person at an office or factory talks behind the back of another, everyone in the work place may get angry and gang up on the person who has been criticized. This can set off backbiting throughout the workplace and cause factions to form. Is this conducive for a harmonious work environment? Hardly.Fourth, are we happy when our mind picks faults in others? Hardly. When we focus on negativities or mistakes, our own mind isn't very happy. Thoughts such as, "Sue has a hot temper. Joe bungled the job. Liz is incompetent. Sam is unreliable," aren't conducive for our own mental happiness.Fifth, by speaking badly of others, we create the cause for others to speak badly of us. This may occur in this life if the person we have criticized puts us down, or it may happen in future lives when we find ourselves unjustly blamed or scapegoated. When we are the recipients of others' harsh speech, we need to recall that this is a result of our own actions: we created the cause; now the result comes. We put negativity in the universe and in our own mindstream; now it is coming back to us. There's no sense being angry and blaming anyone else if we were the ones who created the principal cause of our problem.Close ResemblancesThere are a few situations in which...

Find Another Essay On Gossip

Machiavelli and Gossip Girl Essay

1772 words - 8 pages the creators of the popular television show Gossip Girl had Machiavelli in mind. Machiavelli and the character of Gossip Girl complement each other in their focus on man’s lack of morals, and their ability to create paranoia as well as manipulate those in power to achieve their own agendas. Machiavelli wrote The Prince in 1513, yet it continues to be a loved and powerful piece today, so much so that it is portrayed in modern day media such as

Gender and Gossip Essay

826 words - 4 pages In-depth research and conversational analyses on the topic of gossip only commenced a few decades ago, and studies pertaining to this subject in terms of gender began much later. In this short period of time, however, this field of studies has gained much acrimonious attention, with many heated debates surrounding the claim that women gossip more than men (Rysman, 1977). Through a focused exploration of the subject of gossip, followed by an

Faith Integration "Gossip"

625 words - 3 pages Faith IntegrationWhat does the Bible say about gossip and how can it affect the business world? Proverbs 26:20-28 states that "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips, but in his heart he

The issue of gossip

604 words - 2 pages Dirt, mudslinging, hearsay and tittle-tattle are words synonymous with gossip. According to Encarta English dictionary, gossip is a conversation about personal or intimate rumors or facts, especially when malicious; informal and chatty conversation or writing about recent and often personal events. In my personal opinion, I think that Gossip undoubtedly destroys friendships, marriages, business, and sometimes causes people to kill themselves and

Celebrity gossip websites

964 words - 4 pages Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people - Eleanor Roosevelt. What are the reasons for the popularity of celebrity gossip websites? To just what extent are people interested in private lives of celebrities? The size of the business of celebrity gossip news is best described by the numbers standing behind it. According to New York Times over $3 billion in revenue is annually generated in United States

Celebrities and Gossip

1446 words - 6 pages Celebrities and Gossip Have you seen the pictures of Madonna and her baby yet? Have you ever surfed the web and stumbled onto a site about celebrities? Probably so. There are thousands of sites on the web about celebrities; their official web sites, pictorials and biographical information. You can’t even go into a supermarket without being bombarded by tabloids.You can’t listen to the radio in the car. TV shows and whole networks rely on

Gossip (it was a speech)

698 words - 3 pages I'm not sure if I put it into the right subject, and I hope it helps a little with whatever you may need to do...Gossip is a nasty and unnecessary thing that was probably started by the first people on earth. Although the term 'gossip' is not in the bible, the concept is. It is something most people do almost every day of their lives. Gossiping can leave people feeling hurt and can break people down mentally. It may also destroy friendships

The Influences of the Gossip Industry

1332 words - 6 pages The gossip industry has become popular in the last few decades. Our society enjoys knowing about the lives of celebrities. We obsess over celebrities on gossip websites, and even obsess to the extent of stalking these celebrities. This industry has impacted our culture immensely. It has tainted our culture in several ways from creating bad role models for our children to making stalking an everyday affair; either way, the media has changed our

Learn From Gossip Girl Don't Dimiss

1647 words - 7 pages Learn From Gossip Girl- Don’t Dismiss Five characters. Promiscuity. Drugs. Sex. Reckless decisions and choices. Six Seasons. This is what viewers perceive the show Gossip Girl as, but underneath this layer lies a message that people can identify with. Gossip Girl brings to life the world that Cecily Von Ziegesar created - the world of glitz and glamour becomes a newfound reality. The countless lavish parties, Debutante Balls, endless rumors

Cultural Analysis of a Gossip Girl Ad

3390 words - 14 pages Gossip Girl is an American teen drama set in New York Upper East Side and tells the story of privileged upper class young adults, as they battle sex, drugs, alcohol, relationships and betrayal. Narrated by an infamous incognito, who blogs the lives and drama of Manhattans elite. The series was wrote in a series of novels by Cecily von Ziegesar and produced by Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage. The show begins with the sentence "Gossip Girl

Positive Gossip is a Good Form of Communication

1706 words - 7 pages point out some detailed information about how this conversation is gossip, and perhaps how it isn’t gossip. Whether it be gossip or not, it is still a form of connection between the two people. In this conversation a male whom I have named Bob, and a woman whom I have named Mary start talking to each other, each of which are trying to find their own way to make a connection to the other. These two are obviously friends who have grown

Similar Essays

Gossip Essay

948 words - 4 pages Addictive…With a Horrible OutcomeMost people realise how gossip has a negative power in our lives, however the addiction to it makes that realisation foggy in our minds. Everybody loves a juicy story, which consists of almost all good gossip; just like Justin Beiber's arrest, he attracted a lot of attention because of a negative event that happened in his life. As well as all throughout Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, gossip has

Gossip Girls Essay

964 words - 4 pages There are a lot of television shows out there in the movie industries. One of the most loved categories of TV show is teen drama. There might be a lot of popular teen drama television shows but for different reasons I pick “Gossip Girls” as the best TV show that I have watched. This particular TV show have a lot of fans around the world and a lot of people follow the gossip girls page on Instagram and twitter. The main reasons why I chose this

Gossip Girl Essay

933 words - 4 pages “Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite.” I speak from personal experience when I say these opening words, proclaimed at the beginning of every Gossip Girl episode, engrain themselves in the minds of teenage female viewers. As each episode progresses, these words introduce reoccurring concepts of gossip, drama and fashion, while featuring strong female protagonists depicted as seemingly

Gossip In The Workplace Essay

1865 words - 7 pages Gossip accounts for sixty-five percent of speaking time in our everyday conversations (Grosser et al., 2010). Not surprisingly, gossip is a common form of communication that is highly prevalent in our social lives, especially within the workplace. While gossip tends to hold negative connotations, research suggests that gossip may serve as a healthy social activity, creating unity and bringing people together. Gossip may have the power to