Hamsters And Humans Think Alike Essay

1313 words - 6 pages

Sometimes reality feels like the subservient twin of emotion. When sadness overtakes the heart, ones perception of life mirrors that of a dead, limbless tree. The beauty of the world around begins to seem more like a cold dwelling meant to temporarily sustain its inhabitants. The others wander aimlessly, believing somehow that this hollow shelter holds purpose, even if they’re visibly devoid of life. At this point being alive truly begins to hurt, because it becomes evident that others are smiling simply because their deaths have permitted them to live within borders and shadings, oblivious to the fact that the only true ghosts in this world are themselves. Touching on this subject, I would like to answer a question while introducing a friend of mine, but this is not a question that someone has ever asked me. It’s merely one I would like to answer. “”Now then,” said the psychiatrist, looking up from his note pad, “when did you first discover that you were dead?”” (Beaumont).
It was at the age of thirteen that I first discovered I was dead. It wasn’t a sudden occurrence though, but instead six years of bleeding until I finally crossed over. Having never truly given thought to it, I actually find it quite interesting regarding the way my life has unfolded, but that’s beside the point. In 1997 I remember hearing about a prediction that the world would end on a particular date, and though the earth remained valiant through this supposed ending, a sphere of mingling storms began to form in my head. Over the course of the next six years my mind was focused on the world, whether it was Y2K, social inabilities, terrorism, home life etc., but there weren’t many thoughts on metaphysics or personal reflection. In 2003 I became unsure whether or not there was an afterlife. I wasn’t even sure if there was a present life. As if general alienation wasn’t enough, my own mind began detaching itself from the living. True experiences, at that point, only came in doses of music, where the mind could wander the atmospheres of headspace, like being pure energy, or a life lost within purgatory without direction or care. Being lost in what seemed to be illusionary plains of timelessness, there was no other human on Earth who could understand me. I realized then that I was dead. “What is death? In death life lives, and around the dead you shall find the life you lost.” (Haggard). I had found myself alone in a world I had no interest in being a part of.
Summer had come to a halt and welcomed in autumn. In other words, it was school time once again. It was time to be positioned, once again, in a herd of dead animals to go along with the zoo keepers, who might I add, were the dead animals of their own zoo keepers, and so on. This year was different though. As I walked down the hall I saw a crowd of people outside of the room I was supposed to be waiting in. When I asked what the hell everyone was huddling outside of the classroom like a group...

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