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Hold On To What You Believe

1428 words - 6 pages

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Hold On To What You Believe
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I can't promise you I won't let you down.

Germany looks up from his spot in his special room, he's not in as much trouble as some of his men but the other nations are trying to decide what to do with him and his allies. Eduard – Estonia? – stands in front of him; thankfully Germany was able to explain that he was forcing the Baltic to help against his will and Eduard is not going to be punished, which Germany finds to be easing some of the worry he holds. He has felt bad for everything that happened since the beginning.

'I am so sorry.' He wants to say but instead, “How did you get in here?” is said.

Eduard blinks, “I convinced people I needed to see you to get closure.” He adds after a minute of silence, “I do, you know.”

“You want closure?” It's a simple question but it takes so long to actually ask.

“...No.”

Germany looks up surprised, “What?” He mutters, wanting to move from his spot but not being able to will his body to move.

“I don't want closure.” Eduard begins, “Closure means it's over, I don't want it to be over.”

“Then what do you want, Eduard?”

There's a heavy silence in the room and Germany's hope leaves him because silence is the worst answer to any question. He is about to say something when Estonia begins to speak again. “I don't know.” Estonia licks his lips, “I wanted safety when this first began and then I wanted love and now I don't know.”

“Oh.” Ludwig says flatly. He was hoping for a different answer, maybe something definite but he would take it.

“Did I mean anything?” Eduard asks, “Or was it all for no reason besides you needed something to sleep with.”

“I loved you...” Ludwig continues, “I love you still.”

“There's a but in there.” Eduard sits down next to him, leaning his head on his shoulder and Ludwig would do whatever he could to just lay them both down and make love again. Or to be hidden away again so they wouldn't have to deal with anything.

“We can't be together.” Ludwig says and continues when Eduard's beautiful sea green eyes fall, “They won't let us. They think I held you hostage and forced you to help my people and who knows what else they believe. Plus, after this, we'll probably never see each other again.”

Eduard nods, eyelids slowly closing shut and small shakes of the head, “You're wrong.” Is all he has to say.

“You don't understand, you've been sheltered by multiple other nations. You don't know about the politic --”

Eduard cut him off, “Do not say I've been sheltered.” He seethes, “I know about politics and I know about our laws and I know that we'll be separated for a while.” There's a breathe of air and a strangled sob, “Will you stop loving me in a few days? Or months? Or years? Or decades?”

“...I don't know.” He answers truthfully and Eduard nods because the one thing that's true is nations will constantly have on and off relationships with each other and there's no promise that tomorrow Ludwig...

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