How To Annoy Your Teacher Essay

1122 words - 5 pages

Tick, tock...tick, tock. Your head slumps on the smooth wooden desk. Slowly your eyes get heavy, the room gets dark, a peaceful kind of dark. Your eyes close and your mind begins to wander. Kaleidoscope images of the lush green forest surround you. You push the dense foliage aside giving you room to step over the twisted vines and tangled tree roots. "Achem!"
You turn around slowly.
"Wake up!"
"Five more minutes, mommy."
"What did you call me?"
Uh...you wipe the drool off your desk and slowly raise your head. A bright red shade devours your cheeks and the entire class bursts into laughter. Your embarrassment fades as rage takes over. Not only did your teacher wake you up, she humiliated you in front of the entire school! It's your turn for revenge and I'm ready to teach you the art of my ways.
As the day begins your agenda is long. Showing up late is an easy way to annoy your teacher and it is even worse when you walk in the door and distract your entire class during important lessons. You must be a distraction and you must be very tardy. This is achieved by running in the classroom at least thirty minutes late screaming "oh my gosh, you would never guess what just happened" or any other exclamation followed by something to get the other students to listen to you. After getting the entire classes attention sit on a desk and create an entire posse to sit around you attentively. If desks aren't available, anything higher than the other students height to show your superiority over the teachers. Then tell meaningless stories while your teachers aggravation and irritation continues to eat at her soul,LOL! The next step in this devious plan is complaining. Begin with complaining about the teachers personal things, like her body odor, gross! If you don't think this will affect her as much complaining how her big nose casts a huge shadow on the smart board will work too. It's vital that the next step is complaining about the agenda. Start with your least favorite subject and work your way to the others, by the end, you should be having a full blown fit! Although the morning is a critical step in this process, it's essential to be your most irritating self during recess and lunch.
Lunch time is full of annoyance opportunities, you just have to be aware of them. Food fights are easy ways to get that steam to come out of your teachers ears. Pasta sauce, chocolate milk, rotten tomatoes or anything that will stain clothes works the best. If these clothes-destroying objects aren't available any types of miscellaneous goop will work. Next having a re-creation of high school musicals lunch number is a must. Screaming the songs and dancing on tables. Then, leave all a mess for all the teachers to clean up. Spill the rest of your apple juice out on the table. After the floor is a sticky, slippery mess, be sure to throw used napkins and silverware all over the table. If you never ever eat with napkins or silverware...

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