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How To Article "How To Cope With An Abusive Relationship"

793 words - 3 pages

If you are in an abusive relationship, you are already in trouble. By now, you are probably so used to doing what you can to avoid the next act of abuse against yourself that you really think there is a way to avoid the abuser's anger.Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the distilled experience of thousands of victims of abuse. They may help you cope with abuse and overcome it.First, you must decide:Do you want to stay with him - or terminate the relationship? In any relationship you may think you can his state of mind but you can't. He/she will always be tempted to hit you or abuse you. There's very little you can do to stop an abusive relationship other than terminate the relationship and get him professional help.If you stay, you can decide to walk on eggshells the rest of your life and try to predict what they will do next or what may set them off and to circumvent anything that will cause those problems so they do not become enraged again.Your other option would be to give your partner an ultimatum. Either they seek help or you walk out - and mean it. There are places you can go for low cost anger management courses and counselors. Many United Way charities will direct you to places that can help when money is an issue.Another option, give up. If he/she is not willing to change and you do not want to be abused any longer, things are not going to get any better if you stay. It won't be an easy decision to make, especially if you still have feelings for your mate, but it has to be what you feel is best for you.Abusers react to the slightest provocation - real or imagined - with disproportionate wrath and, often, violence. It is important, therefore, never to openly and repeatedly disagree with your abuser or contradict him. If you do - your abuser is bound to walk away, but only after he has vilified and harmed you in every way he can. Abusers feel threatened by real sharing and common decision-making. Never offer your abuser any intimacy - it is a sure way to turn him off and his aggression on. Abusers perceive intimacy as the prelude to manipulation ("What is she getting at? What does she really want? What is her hidden agenda?").Abusers are...

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