Humorous Wedding Speech by Brother of Groom
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the bridesmaids, I must thank Donald for his kind words. I must also thank all of you for coming today - I know how hard it is to get a day release.
As Donald’s lighter brother – sorry, I meant little brother, which is simply a reference to the fact that he is older than I am, and nothing else – I would also like to welcome Liz into the family. I think you’ll find the Endeans to be a warm and open family - but never play cards with any of us.
Historically, June is the traditional month to marry, and these origins actually date back to medieval times when people only properly bathed once a year, typically during May when the weather improved. It’s true. June therefore became a popular marriage time, mainly because that's when people smelled their best. And if you know Donald at all, you’ll believe why June is a good month for him to marry as well. And if you don’t know him, just take it from someone who shared a bunk bed with him for 4 years.
As Donald’s younger brother, it’s wonderful for me to be doing this job today. And, in being asked by Donald to be best man, I think it’s an admission from him that I am the best person and therefore the best son. So, in my role as best son, I’d like to inform my mother and father that it was not me who drove your car into the side of the house. It was not me who broke the Victorian vase of Great Auntie Edith’s, and it was not me who used to forge my school reports.
One of my most ensuring early memories of Donald was at his own birthday party, when I remember asking mum why dad had been walking him up and down the back garden holding him up for the last 20 minutes. Mum explained that he’d eaten too much cake. So, if you see my dad later on with his arm around Donald doing a circuit of the gardens, you know it’ll be too much cake – or more like beer.
Someone asked me a few weeks ago if I looked up to my brother when I was younger. I thought about this – for about 2 seconds – before stating that I thought Donald had been more a source of perspiration than inspiration....