Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man
When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred.
Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniel's best man today.
So let me tell you about all those best man duties that originally concerned me, because I was immediately stumped by the first one: ‘ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order.’ Well Daniel, I have to say that if nature didn't get them in order the first time around, what chance did I have? It was also my responsibility to ensure the groom choose his clothes wisely. Well, there wasn't a suit in the shop that he didn't try on. As many of you know, Daniel's job as a Policeman requires him to keep calm in stressful situations, so it was a bit of a surprise when he asked the shop owner if he could throw in a spare pair of underpants too.
My second duty was to get Daniel to the church on time. Not an easy task, particularly since Kim's nickname for Daniel is 'Everlast' - not for his bedroom skills, but for his time keeping. We have GMT, we have BST, but is anyone here familiar with PWT? Well, Daniel Wilson Time runs about 40 minutes behind either GMT or BST. But despite this, I suppose he does have a knack of being in the right place at the right time - if he didn't, he wouldn’t have met Kim who I must say looks absolutely stunning today.
Now, I hope you also noticed that, as well as on time, the bridegroom arrived sober – another achievement which shouldn’t be underestimated. Because Daniel does enjoy a drink from time to time, and at one point he even...