Humorous Wedding Speech - Some Advice for the Bridegroom (Groom)
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - If you didn't know already, my name is Alberto and I'm in the wedding party. That is the reason I?m dressed like this.
What have I done to be blessed with such an honour? Who?s dropped out at the last minute? Had William?s other friends left the country? Could I turn the job down and still get an invite to eat and drink at William?s expense? I didn?t want to risk it, so lets get on with it.
Sherry, you make a fine bride and looked absolutely stunning in the church this morning. William, you looked ? well ? a bit like me, but perhaps a touch thinner. But I think you'd all agree that it was a wonderful service. Mind you, those vows were interesting - William said, 'I do', to which Sherry said, 'You'd better'.
Now, traditionally a wedding speech is not complete without a short anecdote, something that gives an insight into the bridegroom?s character. And I could stand here all evening telling you stories of ?boys nights out? or cricket club and rugby club tours. I could even recount the stag night (bachelor?s party), and that reminds me, William - you still owe me forty for those last two dances you had. But this is Sherry's day as well, and I don't want to ruin it with William's vulgarity. So I am going to stick to giving the bridegroom some advice.
William, now that you are married, your level of domesticity needs to greatly improve. You must find where the kitchen is and learn what the various mysterious objects contained within it actually do. And unlike when we lived together, you?re going to have to transfer food onto dishes instead of eating your dinner straight out of the saucepan ? and wash up after meals instead of putting all the things in together at the end of the week? when you take your bath. This is good advice William and it's in your best interest....