Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related.
Sallie is of course my sister, so I've known her much longer than I've known Mike. But I have been sternly warned not to delve into any of her terrible past relationships, her horrible pre- and post-teen attitude, her early problems with alcohol and the short spell she spent in a Singapore jail for drug trafficking. Instead, all I'll say is that, as I have seen her grow up, she has become a lovely, independent, very straightforward person who I know I could trust with anything, even Mike.
So just who is this man Sallie is marrying?
Well, he is a highly responsible executive ... he's responsible for lower profits, he's responsible for inefficiency and he's responsible for a terrible corporate scandal.
Previous to this he attended Exeter University. I have very little material with regard to Mike's 3 years as a student there, and everybody I've spoken to has no memory of it either - including Mike. He did return an excellent poker (snooker) player though.
He's also a very keen golfer and is a member of a...