I, My Alter Ego Essay

1629 words - 7 pages

Sex is the most commonly and frequently discussed topic among teenagers today. Anything that includes the word "sex" appeals to most adolescents. However, the word "homosexuality" may not be as appealing to others. As we embrace the 21st century in this sex-driven world, the gay community is rapidly being recognized by society. Some states have even tried to legalize gay marriages. However, a few people who believe that homosexuality is wrong and they will do whatever is possible to justify that. Sadly, discrimination against homosexuals still exists to this very day. I remember growing up viewing homosexuality as a "negative" aspect but I do not recall where or how I came up with that assumption. The first time I realized that homosexuals were not being treated like civil people was in junior high, around the time of Matthew Shepherd's death and the cruel beating he suffered for being a gay man. From then on, I began feeling uncomfortable with my sexuality and was forced to stay in the "closet" for a long period of time.
Acknowledging the fact that there is no alliance between heterosexuals and homosexuals at a young age was the most emotionally painful experience that I have had to overcome. I assumed that since times have changed, that society would be able to accept other minorities and cultural groups without conflict, but I was clearly mistaken. Little did I know that hate crimes were still committed daily, and not only towards homosexuals, but also towards other people with different backgrounds and beliefs. I thought that since it was the dawn of a new millennium, people would not question nor judge other people's life-styles and let them have the "freedom" to live their lives how they want. We should be free to be who we want to be, especially where we live in a country built on "freedom." Thankfully, this is the 21st Century, so we now have laws such as affirmative action to prevent discrimination again race, gender, age, sexuality and et cetera in our community and around the work place.
At the age of fourteen, I began a quest to find my true "identity". The kids in the schoolyards used to make fun of me and call me gay or faggot because I acted like a queer. When I asked my friends why people yell derogatory terms at me, they responded by saying because I was too "nice and gentle." I was shocked by that remark and wondered how anyone can me too nice; so in response, I tried to be less nice but realized that it was part of who I am and that I can never change that. Then naturally, I became more sexually attracted to men over women. I freaked out and did not know what to think, I refused to believe it. I still remember those endless nights when I asked myself over and over again, that distorted question of whether or not I was gay. Though, the more I thought about it and the harder I tried to avoid it, the more I pondered upon the question. I did not know why but I was so fearful of the truth and of its outcome. I...

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