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If You Want Kitchen Cabinets You Need New Shingles On The Roof

1291 words - 6 pages

You Need New Shingles On The Roof If You Want New Kitchen CabinetsBob Vila, the host of 'Home Again,' always makes his projects look so easy. Most people fail to realize why good ole' Bob is able to make things appear so easy on television. You see, Bob has a fifty man crew made up of world class carpenters hidden out of site behind the camera. These carpenters are the best and are armed to the teeth with Sears' best craftsman power tools. They stay out of site until a commercial comes on and then they run out from behind the camera and take care of all of the hard to do tasks that good ole' Bob never tells you about. Seemingly harmless projects to fix up your house can have terrible ...view middle of the document...

It soaked everything in the bed of the truck. I drove like an insane person to get home so I could unload it in this down pouring rain and get the boxes dried off. Luckily nothing was damaged from the water. It was an omen and I failed to see it.The next day I took my ten pound hammer and began tearing out the old cabinets. I was having a pretty good time beating up all of this wood in my house with this hammer. It was fun until I realized that the cabinets were actually part of the wall and now I was going to have to rip out the whole wall. I said to myself, 'Oh what the heck, it's just a wall and I can rebuild it.' So, I tore the whole thing out. Unfortunately, after this, I discovered that water had been leaking from behind the wall and rotted several floor joists under the kitchen floor. Now I was going to have to rip up the entire kitchen floor. The next morning I removed the appliances and ripped out the floor. I had successfully taken a very functional kitchen and turned it into a rather large pile of busted up wood, which was now trashing up my back yard. For some strange reason, this incredible euphoria of accomplishment made me fantasize about choking the life out of Bob Vila. I was now prepared to remove the damaged floor joists. I was trying to be very careful while removing the joists, because the center of the house could collapse without their support. When I removed the second floor joist, part of the house shifted and broke the main water lines that routed under the floor. It also sheared off the cast iron sewer vent that went up to the roof. As the water was steadily soaking me, the term 'Uh oh' began to repeat itself in my thought pattern. These pipes were very old and could not be repaired, they had to be replaced. Now I was looking forward to replacing the plumbing.At this point, I realized that I was in over my head. I called my wife's brother, Steven, to help me. He agreed to help and came right over with his tools in hand and ready to go. He started working on the sewer lines while I jacked the house back up and replaced the floor joists. When Steven was repairing the sewer vent line he was beating on it with a hammer. Not realizing that this old cast iron pipe might be full of large chunks of rust,...

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