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Ignoble Savages Essay

2509 words - 10 pages

Thru out history primitive human societies have been likened to animals. Perhaps the two broadest categories are the Noble and Ignoble Savages. The noble savage is a benevolent yet somewhat backwards person by today's standards. They are often associated with cultures who are apparently in tune with nature, although that is a debatable topic and not relevant to this paper. The ignoble savage, as the name implies, is not only backwards but has none of the redeeming qualities of the noble savage. While there are many societies these labels have been applied to, Africa and the Americas, it is a relatively outdated concept. In today's politically correct world nobody would dare to look upon a fellow human and declare them mindless beasts incapable of possessing the noble traits of a human.However, I have discovered a society of people in my travels who can be described as nothing more than ignoble savages. It's not something I say lightly, it's a title I would not even assign to a murderous barbarian who pillages entire villages for the sheer pleasure of hearing people scream. No, it is an insult to hard working murderous barbarians everywhere to group them with this new found creature. The barbarians at least had dreams, goals, and the ability to plan for a future, no matter how twisted it may be. All are absent from this new specimen, there even appears to be a lack of self awareness.Cella Comparis, the "Room Mate", is apparently an offshoot of the hominid lineage. The earliest known sample dates back to September of 2002 when I encountered three of the creatures in a small, cave like structure, dubbed an "Apartment". Amazingly enough there is no fossil record of Cella Comparis, not even trace fossils. Perhaps even more astounding is the apparent degeneration of the gene pool. Judging by the lack of fossils that predate the year 2002, they are an offshoot of Homo sapiens that developed in the late 20th century. This degeneration is simply astounding as it runs contrary to what should be expected from the theory of evolution. I suspect that power lines, poor gene pool, chemicals, inbreeding, or perhaps head trauma are the culprit, possibly a combination of these adverse environmental conditions. Investigation into the situations which gave rise to this species are of the utmost paramount as they could help shed light on the origins of mankind.In the footsteps of Jane Goodall before me, I have taken it upon myself to immerse myself in their natural habitat. By doing such, an unprecedented view into the lives of these creatures has been unveiled. This expedition is expected to last from September 2002 to April of 2004, assuming I have managed to gather sufficient data. At that time an exhaustive report will be released, this is merely somewhat of a trailer.The first case study is of the sample I refer to as "Stinky". His birth name is B. Gueberman (SP), but I thought that simply referring to him as Goober would be taking a cheap shot so Stinky it is....

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