I have far since gave up dreaming about a life as a free being, I have my place in the world, i have my niche and I have a home. Although the life of a slave is hard I will serve my masters until my last breath. I have grown accustomed to this sort of thinking in my 18 years of living. Life is precious they always preached in the textbooks at the learning centers but they were not talking about yours they were talking about the life of the masters. The Zodiacs, the holiest of beings, the beings that transcended humanism and so on they went about.
I felt a chill run up my spine as I thought about the life of a Zodiac, they sit in their shrines scattered across the provinces hidden in serene solidarity and mystery. What are their purpose? I often wonder. Usually as I'm being whipped, when every whip hits my cold body, my swollen skin cannot hold under the constant barrage of strikes and I feel the warmth of my blood soothe my frigidness. The thought came as if to help me escape my current being even if for a brief moment before another bludgeon.
I tried to wonder what I did wrong but I was always met with the same thought Kindess for the masters, Humility for the Zodiacs and Sympathy for the Punishers.
That was the first thing I learned. mother and father came after I had memorized that creed, so much that I could say it in my sleep if I could get any or speak. Why should I wonder what I did wrong I am but a lowley retainer who will work from my birth till my death. I vowed to love my masters, to love my zodiacs and to love my punishers.
I often find myself wishing today is the day I should die. between the 2-3 hours of sleep I get every night, the hard labor and the hitting I find myself hoping that maybe the retributional rod could hit my head the wrong way and I could be played to rest. My wish never came true. Althought I wanted to off myself I was only constrained because of my love for my parents or at least the people I call mother and father. Because if there is a suicide in a family the rest of the family goes with the departed via Retribution.
My real mother was long dead, and my father is one of the masters, I do not know which one. I do know that after my mother gave birth to me she was set free. She was taken beyond the wall and a scream was heard before a loud popping sound like a rata tat tat. I only knew about this because it was a common thing for young girls from the circle to get taken every month and brought to the masters estate only to come back with her clothing tattered and bruises adorning her face. I once knew a girl around two years ago she was the most beautiful person I laid eyes on, her black hair was not silky nor was it dirty and unkept. She was from another circle a couple of days away and had came here for reasons unknown. I don't know but she had came into our circle with a couple of other beautiful young girls but she was the most graceful and...