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How To Be A Typical Tourist.

908 words - 4 pages

How to Be a Typical TouristFrom southern Florida's sunny beaches to the chilly tundra of Alaska, in the outback of Australia or in the bustling streets of Paris, London, Chicago, Tokyo, and Chicago, tourists are a group of people seemingly unburdened by the cares of routine life. Perhaps you've seen tourists in your own town and have envied their informal, carefree way of life. You, too, can enjoy that relaxed lifestyle by following these few simple rules on your way to becoming a typical tourist.First, in order to be a true tourist, you must dress like a tourist. Go ahead; dig out those loud, tacky shorts; brightly colored shirts; double-knit slacks; and flip-flop thong sandals. Add a touch of class with a pair of clip-on, flip-up sunglasses and the latest rage, a fluorescent-colored money belt. To personalize your touring wardrobe, consider packing tee shirts or caps that make a proud statement such as, "I visited the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan," "I cooled off in Barrow, Alaska," or "I hiked the Grand Canyon." These shirts will impress people, and you won't need to tell them about the helicopter the rangers that had to call to haul you back out of the canyon.Next, if you don't already own a camera, you will need to purchase one. A camera will become one of the most valuable tools in your glove compartment. After all, do you really expect your neighbors to believe that you actually saw the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile on Interstate 55 unless you have a snapshot to prove it? To be a typical tourist, it is not a requirement that you be an accomplished photographer, so any cheap, one-time use camera will serve nicely. In fact, quality is quite unimportant in tourist photographer. Don't bother to focus; you might miss the moment. A blurry picture, a thumb in the foreground, the unidentified hiker in a sunset picture-- these and other mistakes will only add to the character of your photo collection. Just as quality is of little concern, content is also irrelevant. It doesn't matter what you take pictures of as long as you can make up a good story to explain the significance of the photo to the people back home. On a recent trip, my uncle became fascinated with the unusual markings left on a car by an obviously large bird, and he brought home a photo for the rest of us to see to see them. Be sure you don't miss the exceptional photo opportunities if your vacation involves air travel. You will want to at least snap three photographs: one at takeoff, one of the clouds while you are in the air, and one to capture your excitement upon reaching your destination....

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