How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons

1156 words - 5 pages

Do any of the following statements apply to you? People and things should turn out the way I want them to; It is easier to avoid difficult situations and responsibilities rather than face them; If I worry about something, things will actually turn out better; I worry too much about what people think of me; If bad things happen, I always blame somebody else. If any of these are true, you may be letting people and/or things push your buttons according to Albert Ellis, Ph.D., and Arthur Lange, Ed.D., the authors of How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons.We all face the pressures and stress of life everyday. The job, the family, other individuals, emergencies, even "things" drive us crazy or "push our buttons" at times. We try to rationalize and keep our cool, but most of the time it is just a cover up and short term solutions to the problems. Reacting is important but how you react can determine how well you handle difficult situations.The authors point out that awfulizing, shoulding, and rationalizing are three ways in which we allow other people and things to push our buttons to the point where we don't handle difficult situations as effectively as we could. An example of these irrational ways of thinking could be a failure to get a promotion. Awfulizing: "Maybe I'm making to many mistakes. Maybe they are planning to get rid of me." Shoulding: "They never liked me. They should have given me the chance. I do all my work and they give the promotion to someone with poor work habits." Rationalizing: "Well, I guess I could have done better on the Murphy account. Maybe they will reconsider. I am sure they will come to their senses." - You can see how these irrational ways of thinking can "push your buttons".Mr. Ellis and Mr. Lange suggest four steps to change your irrational thinking. First, by asking yourself, "How am I inappropriately feeling and acting in this situation?" Look for excessive anxiety, anger, depression, guilt, defensiveness, frustration, intimidation, hostility, and the like. Next, ask yourself, "What am I irrationally thinking about myself, the others, in this situation, or the situation in general, to make myself upset?" Here you should look for the awlfulizing, shoulding, or rationalizing. In step three, you ask yourself, "How can I challenge and dispute my irrational thinking in Step 1?" Accepting the valid aspects of a situation can help you recognize what you are exaggerating, how you are doing that and how you can dispute it. The last step you ask yourself, "What realistic preferences can I substitute for my irrational thinking in Step 1?" By staying with preferences and avoiding awfulizing, shoulding, and rationalizing, you can minimize making yourself excessively anxious, angry, defensive, depressed, and guilty. In summation, steps 1 and 2 identify specifically how you are upsetting yourself and letting people and circumstances push you buttons. Steps 3 and 4...

Find Another Essay On How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons

How to Attract More People to Your Blog

1301 words - 5 pages but focus on the few that are highly relevant to your blog's topic and you'll hit gold. Your well-written piece might even get picked up by a popular blog or be featured in your local news site. Of course, you need to keep abreast on the latest comings and goings in your field but I'm sure you already do that, right? 2. Talk about something deep. If you are not one to shy away from getting your hands dirty with a bit of research and some old

How to keep On-Line E-learners Essay

2337 words - 9 pages modules and that is it, no further reinforcement would be focused on by the learners as the learner has already been given the rewards.As seen by various writers, certain companies are just pushing e-learning into the hands of the employees as they feel that everyone is doing it and how come they are not? It is important to note that training should be provided for when there is a need for a new skill or knowledge. As pointed out by the theory

Tips to keep your bathroom warm in winter

665 words - 3 pages Have you ever walked into a bathroom and faced the rough transition from a bliss of warmth to harsh blow of cold instantly? You definitely do not want the same to happen in your home bathrooms on a chilly winter night, right? We bring you suggestions on how to warm up your bathroom with blowing up your bank account by the following tricks and tips. Rugs can add coziness – Get rid of your old and boring bath mat and get a nice rug instead

How to Annoy People

1039 words - 4 pages Have you ever wished you could just annoy the hell out of people in a lengthy elevator ride, a boring class, the people in the bathroom, or just about anywhere? Well, follow these instructions and you might end up being the most obnoxious, exasperating, and maddening person to your co-humans. Sure, it might be childish and immature, but it’s for a worthy cause; your entertainment. Also, think of it this way, your victims will be grateful by the

How To Treat People

1945 words - 8 pages How To Treat PeopleWe all want to have a life full of success. Many people assume without question that success is essentially material, that it can be measured in money, prestige, or an abundance of possessions. These can certainly play a role, but having such things is no guarantee of success. The success that we should strive for is the ability to love and have compassion, the capacity to feel joy and spread it to others, the security of

How Women should Act to Achieve and Keep Love

2004 words - 9 pages How Women should Act to Achieve and Keep Love Why do relationships commonly end in disaster or slowly wither away to nothing? That question could be answered in many ways. Whether the answer lies within the women’s actions, the men’s actions or both, it is something that has been an ongoing occurrence for many years. A valid explanation is that society has different expectations for acceptable male and female behaviors, which ultimately ends is

What People Like about Films and How they Keep the Audience's Attention

4364 words - 17 pages What People Like about Films and How they Keep the Audience's Attention What is it that you like about films? There’s no right answer to this question of course. Many viewers have different opinions on what catches their attention- it could be the comedy in a movie or the horror that keeps them interested. The genre is what the film is related to for example: the film ‘Final Destination’ is related to thriller

How to Wash Your Dog

1125 words - 5 pages has a heavy coat try taking off the soap first before rinsing it off. After you’re done, check for soap residue by looking for bubbles when squeezing the hair. If there are any bubbles, keep rinsing. A thorough rinsing is necessary to properly clean your dog and to prevent soap residue from dulling the coat or causing potential skin problems. If you want you’re pet to have a very nice odor all you have to do is add a little bit of vinegar or lemon

How to Sell Your Writing

820 words - 3 pages writing style is that it has a lot of one thing and none of another. If you go through it again, you’ll notice that it’s got a lot of “boring” written on it and none of what we call “spunk.” On top of that, your reader might not be able to understand you at all. And so, in this issue, we’ll be tackling how to “sell” your writing to your readers. And sell it hard. That said, if you want to be heard, you might as well listen to the people that

How to renew your thinking

1569 words - 6 pages arguments because you know they produce quarrels." (2 Tim. 2:22,23)Be objective in your thinking instead of allowing subjective feelings to determine your course of actions and attitudes.20. Error with truth. Jesus said, "You err because you do not know the scripture or the power of God." Learn how to know, obey and love the truth found in the scripture. Only then are we set free from negative attitudes and actions.Conclusion:In Discipleship Journal

How to Improve Your Memory

1670 words - 7 pages exercise and certain medications have been found to jump-start cell growth in the hippocampus bringing help for depression sufferers. Exercise is not only excellent for your body, but is required for your brain to work efficiently. When we are inactive on a routine basis, plaque builds up in our arteries, causing blood vessels to lose the ability to effectively pump blood. In as much as the brain relies on oxygen and nutrients from the

Similar Essays

How To Keep Your Car Running L

950 words - 4 pages "How To Keep Your Car Running Like NEW" · Automobiles are Americans 2nd biggest investment after real estate and how to keep your car running at top conditions becomes a very important knowledge everyone should know about.· The major components of a car consist of engine, transmission, brakes, suspension, and tires.· Today I am going to teach you the audience how to change your motor oil o

How To Keep Your Dogs Happy And Healthy

873 words - 4 pages diet plan to maintain their weights. Good nutrition can improve the quality of your pet's life. Animals, like people, need nutritious food to keep them healthy. An overweight dog may suffer from behavioural issues or, worse, heart disease. So instead of giving your dogs’ table food, feed them with high-quality pet food. You also need to make sure that your furry companions are properly hydrated by adding wet food to their diets as well as

How To Keep Fit Essay

1157 words - 5 pages distance, speed and eventually time.Go out of your way to walk more. For example, if you go to the grocery store try to park in the farthest spot from the entrance so you are forced to walk those extra steps to get there.Walk or bike to work/school. If you live close enough to work or school a good solution would be to start walking or cycling.If you jog you should jog at least a kilometer to keep the fat off, but it is very important to pace

How To Keep Fit. Essay

1405 words - 6 pages , invigorate and purify the body. The best way of getting exercises is to engaged in some work that's useful and at the same time interesting to the mind.Some people work very late. And they continue working at home. Late hours are very harmful to the health because they exhaust the nervous system. People should keep to the following principle: "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"What and how much people eat is also a