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How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk By Adele Faber And Elaine Mazlish. Self Help Book For Parents About Dealing With Children. Wafa Nurdin

2123 words - 8 pages

Throughout time, parents and children have interacted everyday about many of life's tough problems; they have shouted, cried, and laughed with each other, and hopefully more of the latter. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish is a parent's how-to guide about their own children. These insightful women and mothers have given rational and logical ways of dealing with children and their temperaments through various methods. Structured into seven simple chapters, the authors use a variety of diagrams and scenarios to reinforce the message taught in each portion. They provide sections to reflect on the lesson, and chances to subtly use the methods in daily life. This book teaches parents how to get their tight-lipped children to talk about their feelings and how to stop quarreling with youngsters due to foolish predicaments.It is not always easy getting young children to deal with their feelings; the first chapter of the book deals with this subject. The authors suggest using one of these methods in order to deal with children's problems:1.Listening quietly and attentivelyThis is an effective method because it gives the child a chance to talk about his/her problem without the parent giving an instant solution and it gives the child a chance to reason out why he/she feels the way he/she does.2.Acknowledge feelings with a word, e.g. "Oh....Mmm...I see"This helps the child know that you are listening to his/her problem and that he/she is not being considered as a second priority for you (the parent.)3.Give the feeling a nameMost children do not even understand what feelings are at the moment they occur, so if the parent gives the feeling a name, that feeling becomes tangible and easier to deal with. Also, through this technique, the parent is recognizing the fact that the child has a problem, and that he is willing to help.4.Give the child what he wants through fantasyThis gives the child reassurance that if he/she wants something, someone is there to understand that want, and it is much easier to bear if the parent participates in this method, therefore explaining why he/she cannot have what he/she wants through the fantasy.5.All feelings can be accepted and certain actions must be limited.This piece of advice gives the parent the opportunity to agree with whatever feeling the child has, but they can teach their children that dealing with that feeling should not be physical but verbal.Once in a while, one sees the parent and the three-year-old in the supermarket, where the child is pleading for the chocolate chip cookies, and everyone can see that the parent is completely fed up, and wants the child to be quiet. To engage that child's cooperation, the parent can use one of these methods: Wafa N1.Describe the problemInstead of yelling at the child about the situation, the parent should describe it. This way, it is easier to concentrate on the problem and it gives the child a chance to consciously...

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