In the following chapters you will learn how to make new friends and about other aspects of friendship that will help increase your success. Be patient as you read about the definition of a friend, making yourself likeable and knowing boundaries. All of these areas are important! Sometimes the difficulties in friendships happen because of peoples’ distorted views. Let’s start with the correct mindset in these areas and others. When you are ready to make new friends, your chance of success will be much greater.
WHAT IS A FRIEND
Everyone has their own opinion about what defines a friend by what they want a friend to do for them. A friend can be a person of the same or opposite sex. They can be someone you hang out with, go to events with or share your deepest emotional thoughts. A friend can be someone with a shoulder to cry on in your darkest trial. A friend can be your biggest cheerleader when great things happen in your life.
Whatever you expect from a friend, realize that they may not meet all of your expectations and neither will you meet all of theirs. One of the biggest problems some people have is unrealistic expectations in a friendship. Defined simply, one person expects too much of the other person. A person who does will always have great difficulty making and keeping friends.
So exactly what is a friend? Popular dictionaries generally define a friend as:
- A person who has a bond of mutual affection with another.
- A person who is a companion.
- A person who is someone you can confide in.
This guide can help you learn how to make new friends but remember that lasting friendships generally take time to develop. The following chapters will outline some areas you should consider before attempting to make new friends. Otherwise you may unknowingly hinder your ability to make friends.
MAKE YOURSELF LIKABLE
Do you ever wonder why you have a hard time making and keeping friends? If you haven't given it a thought then now is the time to do so. You do want friends don't you? Then maybe there are some things about your behavior or attitude that distant people from you. It's time to discover what those things are. Let me tell you my story to help you understand how we can unknowingly prevent people from wanting to be our friends.
I was extremely shy growing up and lived in my own little world. If someone tried to be friendly, they didn’t get very far, because my walls were rather tall. I didn't want people to get too close to me for a variety of reasons, so I was afraid to make friends. I didn't think anyone wanted to be my friend. Does this sound like you? I'm sure there are other reasons I still may not fully understand, but that's OK, because I've since taken the steps to let those walls down.
Your past hurts can be as recent as yesterday, last month or 10 years ago. Take the time to learn how you may be preventing people from becoming friends with you. If you don’t already know why, then hopefully this section will help you discover...