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Life Essay

1136 words - 5 pages

One of the toughest times of my life started October 27 of last year and is just now ending. I had always thought of myself as a strong person until my boyfriend and first love, Daniel Langley, broke up with me. I went to pieces. I had never felt so hurt and abandon, not even when my parents divorced and my dad moved away from me. My grades dropped in every class but I never said a word to anyone. My friends were the first ones to notice that I was not handling things very well anymore.Every little thing made me cry. If anyone even mentioned Daniel's name I would run away and cry for 10 minutes. My sister was the next. My sister, Tara, and I are very close. I guess you could say that she is my hero. She wanted to put me into counseling but I refused. She was the first one to realize that I was depressed and that I had lost a lot of weight. Not that I did it on purpose but I just kind of forgot to eat. Even during the holidays I was just, never hungry. I was also quite all the time which is very unusual because I am never quite especially around my sister. I slept all the time and was still tired most of the day. I just wanted to die and go to heaven where every thing is perfect and there is no pain only overflowing joy. The more I thought about that the most I lost faith in God. I have been a strong Christian since about 6th grade but, I could not understand how God could let so much pain come to his faithful little servant. I asked my youth pastor why there is unbearable pain brought upon God's children and he could not give me an answer that pleased me. I had always thought that God would protect me from harm. Most importantly I thought that God would never put you through anything you could not handle. I strongly believed that I could not handle my life at this point. Not only had my heart been broken beyond repair and my God abandon me, visa versa in reality, but my mom and I fought almost every day and there was the threat of loosing our home. After I had decided that there must be no God at all things got worse, and I looked to friends for comfort. The thing with my "friends" is that they were Daniel's friends that I had adopted as my own. So in reality they were not my friends at all. Daniel had moved in June before we had broken up so that was at least not a problem. My "friends" would often ask about him and I had to remind his so called best friends of his birthday. By the time I had made my own friends I had already been through two boyfriends that were more of a rebound thing, who also hurt my badly. Angela Montogomery, one of my new friends, is a very out spoken person and abrasive if you do...

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