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Memory Remembering To Forget A Look At Toni Morrison's Book 'beloved' And The Memory Aspect.

2300 words - 9 pages

Memory is not as cut and dry as remembering and not remembering. Deep within a person's subconscious are things that may not want to be remembered or cannot be remembered but these memories are still there. The opportunities to find the path to reveal these memories lies deep within they just need to find the right outlet. Life experiences come and go and the mind retains the information from each occurrence but some are more prominent than others. Some memories are avoided and some are cherished. No matter what, memories take a toll on a person's psyche. Sometimes memories flood present thought or the pure exhaustion of trying to forget something can be very draining. "Beloved," by Toni Morrison and my own experiences reflect the toll memories can take on a person's life and the effect they have on the person's life as well.Experiences of my own have made me double think the memories I can recall. Makes me think that even though I can layout every detail of a particular memory I still doubt whether that event actually occurred. Even though the event was between me and another person, the other person because of the nature of the event would deny it happened, which again reinforces my doubts when the memories occur. Is it a story that I conjured up as a child and now in adult life believe to be a memory? Since the memory is negative in nature that could possibly be the reason why there is doubt. It is my way of avoiding the memory because maybe if I make myself believe that the event never occurred then the memory is not really a memory just a recalled fictional story. A fictional story is definitely easier to swallow rather than the reality of the memory.Reality of a memory or a story can be a scary thought. What if life experiences cannot be distinguished from actually recalling an event that happened opposed to a lie told. A cousin of mine, Amanda, is a year and a half younger than me we grew up right around the block from each other except for a year and a half when I moved to another town and we did not really see each other for that time period. Recently I went to visit her in her new home which is in Florida. Her young husband and I had a heart to heart talk and he mentioned how he has to be sensitive to Amanda because of her past. When I inquired to what he was talking about he mentioned how Amanda recalled a memory of being sexually abused along with me when we were both very young. I was shocked to hear this and I discredited this story right away. The story that he was recalling was one similar to an event that had happened to me and only me. My cousin knew when we were growing up that I was beat and almost sexual molested by my stepfather. She in turn told her husband that she and I were sexually molested together which I knew that was not that case. She took one of my memories twisted it around and made it her own.Once again doubt came into play and I actually needed a confirmation from my mother that my cousin was not around me...

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