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Men Vs Women Essay

1310 words - 5 pages

When it comes to men and women, there's just no comparing the two. I have realized in all my relationships that men and women are just plain hard to figure out. These few things I have compared are actual moments and memories I have gone through in the last ten years.Let's start with how relationships ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Dogs". Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go of the situation. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But, I want you to know that there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone calls, that 99% of all men have made at least once.I have noticed that women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults, but most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out. Trust me, I can vouch for that, because I was the one giving the wedgies and trading baseball cards in high school.There is one thing, or a few things that I will never figure out and that's the items in a bathroom. A man has about six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, a razor, a bar of soap, a towel from the Holiday Inn that we took when on vacation, and I can't forget the most important item, toilet paper. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is close to about 437 things. A man like me would not be able to identify or begin to name half of these items, so I'm not even going try.Another area that men and women are totally different from each other is grocery shopping. A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and one beer, then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good, so by the time a man reaches the checkout counter; his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane. How can you blame us, you woman know it looks cute when a man goes shopping by himself and doesn't know what the heck he is buying.A subject that I will not go into to much because it would take me another five pages, is shoes. When preparing for work, a woman will put on a nice fancy wool suit, and then slip on her Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks and then while getting to work; she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet hurt and they are under the desk. I will not talk too much about how many pairs of shoes a woman has or how many rows of shoes are in the closet. A man...

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